Forgetting Billions | ✓

05 | Forgetting Burgers

"I'll never not be a vegetarian. You know it's part of my culture and family heritage. You, on the other hand, have no excuse. All your family eats meat, and there you are, choosing not to. I would kill for a hamburger!" she exclaimed.

"Why don't you have one then? Your parents won't care."

"They won't, but I will. I'd like to carry on all of my traditions, especially since I'm the first of my family to grow up in America. I have to set a good example for everyone else who wants to come here."

Shayan laughed, "I forgot how dramatic you are. You do know that one hamburger isn't going to stop the rest of your family from migrating here. But between you and me, its taste is mediocre at best. You're not missing much."

"I don't believe that," she teased and walked to the booths, happily taking in the view. She found a clean table and sat down, crossing her legs with a contented smile, Shayan directly across from her. He pulled his sunglasses off his face and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Are you ready to talk?"

Jasmine shrugged. Now that he wanted to, the words that she prepared and had been practicing for this exact moment, turned to mush. "I can wait."

"Tell me. You weren't the happiest person to see me today in class and I know you want to let me have it. Don't worry, Jas, I can take it." He was trying to joke around with her, but she could tell he just wanted to know if he was right: if she really wasn't thrilled to see him.

She found no way to eloquently phrase her words so instead, she decided to just come right out and say it, "Why didn't you talk to me after you left? Did you not care anymore?"

His eyes twinkled sadly at her, as if he felt so much in that moment but couldn't quite show her.

"I cared."

Taking note of the past tense, Jasmine sunk deeper into her chair and looked up at him from beneath her dark eyelashes, "Then why? You knew how much I needed you."

She wouldn't hold back now. She had waited much too long to ask him these questions.

"How about when I needed you?" His anger flared suddenly, like a firecracker launching into the sky. "Do you think that you can find me with a couple of pills and hug me and everything will be okay? That you're suddenly forgiven for choosing your dead uncle over me again and again?" he growled and crossed his arms over his chest.

Jasmine's heart deflated like a crushed balloon and she sniffled slightly. It took her longer than most to grieve, but did he have to consider that a weakness?

"If that's the case, why are you even here?"

He didn't reply for a long time. She assumed it was because he was thinking, and she took comfort in the silence as their food was placed in front of them.

Jasmine ran the back of her palm against her cheek and turned her full attention to her burger. How had today started so well, but ended like this? Actually, considering it began with her nightmare, maybe today was just going down in the history of bad days. She took a large bite out of her burger and they continued to eat as all the words left unsaid swirled around them, choking whatever hope Jasmine had for her relationship with Shayan right out of her.

"I came back because Manhattan wasn't for me." Jasmine's eyes snapped up and she watched him intently, not wanting to talk. He would probably hear her voice quiver. "I needed to reconnect with my previous life, my better life.

"What do you mean?"

"I had been alone for too long, left alone with my thoughts for too long. I couldn't bear to continue living like that. So a month ago, I decided that I needed to find myself again, and the first step to achieving that was finding y-," Shayan took in a deep breath, one that shook with pure anger at being interrupted in the middle of their one sided conversation. His voice was bitter as he eyed Jasmine's ringing iPhone sitting beside her plate. "I think someone needs you right now, Jasmine."