Until She Jumped

One

Everything seemed okay... until she jumped.

Why did she jump? Why?

It had been a month since Luna jumped off - as most people know - the 6th floor of the Claro building. It was an abandoned six-story building near the school - the place we had always been together to talk. Each floor had three rooms like a school building. It was old and shabby, the windows were gone but it was quiet with the trees and tall green plants overgrowing in the old gardens.

It was hard to think about her smile or the way she would make others laugh, just to make them happy. Now, every time I'd see her smile in my head, instead of smiling back at her, I'd weep.

It was hard to get up each day and walk the path to school. She was everywhere, and nowhere at the same time.

I was seeing Luna's mother all the time, and she talked to me, but the joy had left her. The happiness that she once had has been replaced by agony. Luna's whole family struggled to find a reason - anything - that would make her jump from a building, to take her own life - as what everyone believed.

No one knew the reason until now.

The mystery continued to haunt those who knew her well and the people who truly cared for her. Her family didn't even know any motive for her to commit suicide. Before it all happened, she seemed alright. She was smiling and making jokes just like every day.

However, there was one thing that had stuck in my mind though, they were her words, words I should have listened to more closely.

"Chester, would you care if I die?", she asked me, as we sat on the floor of the Claro building. Her voice was somewhat weak.

"Would you care if I didn't?", I replied, joking. I knew she knew it - she understood the joke - since she smiled and invited me to go back home since the sky was already getting darker; the stars began to glitter above us.

I was stupid to think that she was just really asking me a stupid question. Maybe, a different answer could've saved her life. But no... It still wouldn't work because.... Never mind.

Luna was my best friend. In fact, we were more than best buddies, but to tell you the truth, she was not my girlfriend.

Every time I walked in through the hallway, all I could hear was the question 'why did she jump?'. Everyone kept asking me the same question. The question I couldn't answer. The question that they failed to realize hurt me deeply and made me want to curl up in a little ball and cry.

Hey, Chester! Why did Luna jump?

Had the police solved her case?

Why did she jump, Chester?

I'm sorry. But... why did she jump?

Why did you let her jump?

Did you dump her off that's why she jumped?

The latter questions felt like some forceful and powerful punches to me.

"I wouldn't let here jump! If I only knew, I could have saved her life! I shouldn't have... oh, God", a voice inside my head was yelling these words at me.

.....if only.

I felt a guilt growing inside of me in every question that people throw at me. I wish I could bring her back.