Camp Anderson

The Only Way

Stu begins doing a weird tribal dance around the campfire, "Ai! Ai! Ai! Wooooeeee! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai!" He continues dancing around, until finally a beam of light forms in the sky, descending upon the ground, and when the light leaves, six men and one red haired girl are all standing there. Stu runs up to the band and shouts, "My Clan of Lizard Wizards!" The seven of them all hug each other, and then they all convene, clearly plotting their plan.

Grace smiles and comes up to them, "Well, boys, what are you all planning?"

"Oh, I'm Ambrose by the way," one of them with long, dark hair says, "We were just trying to figure out who the girl is."

She snaps, "I'm Florence Welch, and I have no clue where I am and what I'm doing here!"

Lily jumps up and hugs her, "Oh my God, I'm adopting you. Welcome to the nineteen-seventies, by the way." Florence gives Lily a weird look, and then amazingly, actually sits down with her. Lily runs over to me and whispers, "Don't worry, I'll explain everything to her," then she sits back down with Florence and Keith.

Grace asks, "So, Lizard Clan, do you have any ideas now?"

"Yeah," Stu says, "We are going to go kidnap Mick back," and he jumps atop a tree trunk, "Onward, men!" So, the seven of them run through the forest in pursuit of Jagger.

Kay, who is snuggling Tom Petty, asks, "What do we do now?"

Lily replies, "I don't know, make milkshakes?"

Judy squeals, "Ugh, I want a milkshake."

Carl screams, "I CAN'T HAVE ONE BECAUSE I AM VEGAN!!!!"

Keith flips Carl off and shouts, "If you remind us that you are vegan one more time, I swear, I'm going to sacrifice you to Brian!"

Carl squeals, "You wouldn't...."

"Yeah, that's true," Keith says, "I'm not that cruel. But seriously, get the hell over yourself."

"Well, you get over yourself!" Carl snaps back.

"Why should I? I'm perfectly fine the way-"

Sara interjects, "Ahem, children! I'm going to make milkshakes for you guys, okay! So, if everyone could calm down, that would be great."

Carl raises his hand meekly, "Can mine be VEGAN?"

Before anyone can lunge themselves in Carl's general direction, Stephanie gets up and says, "You know, I'm going to go with Sara and make a smoothie for you, okay?" Carl nods, and then the two ladies go off to make the treats.

Jane leans back into her boyfriend's lap, "Ah, I think it's so cute having all of these progressive rockers together."

"Why is that, Jane?" Lily asks plainly.

"I don't know, so much ego and pretentiousness! It's adorable how they are so snippy with each other, " and she chuckles at the statement. Hmm, I should make some sort of comment.

"The only thing I'm obsessed with is peace, love, and happiness!" I let out a big, dorky grin, and then half of the campers just say, "Aww..."

Judy sneers, "Jon, you are always so happy and positive. It annoys me. Stop it."

Elisa runs over and hugs me, "No, you can't tell him to stop, it's a part of his charm!"

Then, Gina comes over and hugs me, too, "Oh, everyone has to be nice to Jon!" Again, half of the people all go, "Aww...." at me.

Why does everyone think I'm a little kid?

Just to mock me, Rick Wakeman comes over and also gives me a hug, "Aww, look at the cute little baby." I start squirming to get out of his grasp, as he would probably start cooing and holding me like a baby.

"Guys, I am a mature adult! Why won't you believe me?" I cry.

Gina replies warmly, "It's okay, Jon! You don't need to change anything about yourself, we like the sweet, innocent person that you are." Okay, I can deal with this...

Meanwhile, it appears Florence and Lily are discussing doing each other's makeup, how nice, a new friend in the camp!

Katherine sneers, "I'm not big into makeup. I never wear it, actually."

Lily replies, "Well, that's fine. It's just- it's very fun!"

Roger Waters mocks, "Oh, gurls, can you paint my nails?" Jane slaps him on the shoulder, at which point just about everyone laughs.

Peter Gabriel stands up proudly, "I love wearing makeup!"

"Good for you, Peter!" Makaila enthuses, "Tony doesn't, though."

Tony smirks, "That's right! I don't!"

Lily looks oddly at the both of them, "Guys, my boyfriend doesn't wear makeup either! Some people wear it, others don't! Now, we have a kidnapped Mick Jagger and milkshakes to worry about! Can we discuss something more interesting?"

Elisa snaps, "Lily! If you let them go longer, maybe there could have been a peng fight!"

"Yeah, but Steve probably wouldn't have gotten into it, so how would that have benefitted you?" Lily asks.

"You don't know that Steve wouldn't have gotten into it, though," and Elisa smirks, "It was worth a bet."

Before any more contention can build, Sara returns, "Guys! I have the milkshakes!"

Stephanie comes right out behind her, "And I have the smoothie for Princess Carl!"

Carl stands up, "Thanks Stephanie, but don't call me princess, okay?"

"Sure thing, Carl!" Stephanie replies, smiling up at him. She hands him the smoothie, and then he scampers back over to David.

As we all receive our milkshakes, I ask, "So, what do we do now?"

Ian stands at the top of a tree (how did he get up there?) and shouts, "We await the return of Micheal Jagger!"