Collision (Zerrie)

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

That woman posing in that picture was me. She had my cheek bones, my eyes, and my hair so she had to be me, right?

No, not at all.

I definitely would have remembered posing for such a sexual photograph, but when I tried to look through the files in my head it came up blank. So the only logical explanation is that someone photo shopped my head onto some Victoria Secret Model who's boobs were so big they could be considered a safety hazard. I have to hand it to them though, it looked believable. I'm assuming they spent a fair amount of time on it, which is pretty pathetic if you ask me.

I was no longer frozen in place outside the studio, but rather the opposite. It was exactly one minute and forty six seconds before we would be sitting on a red velvet couch in front of a few hundred people and having an interviewer somewhat pry into our personal lives, and I could not stay still. I had been pacing back and forth for who knows how long now and my feet were moving at the same pace as my mind; rapid.

What am I gonna do? If the paparazzi have seen it surely the cover of the tabloids have as well. It must be the first thing everyone lays their eyes on as they walk into a grocery store by now.

"Perrie. Perrie!" Jesy called my name, though it felt like she was calling it from a mile away. I stopped pacing and turned towards her.

"We're on in thirty seconds," she told me with sad eyes. She was the only other one out of the four of us who caught a glimpse of the picture before pulling me inside.

"Okay," I managed to croak out. There was a ginormous lump in my throat. It was the kind of lump that formed when you really wanted to break down and cry and wouldn't leave until you did so.

I waited for Jesy to leave, but she didn't. Instead she took a step forward and wrapped her arms around my shoulders and tugged me into an embrace. "It doesn't matter what they think," she murmured quietly into my ear.

I wrapped my arms around her and rested my head on her shoulder desperately attempting to keep my composure. We were going to be cued any second now and I don't want to walk on stage with black tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. A moment later my eyes betrayed me though and tears were pouring out of my eyes as I struggled to contain the sobs that wanted to escape me.

"Ladies it's-" I heard a stage crew member start to say from behind me but he never finished. Jesy must've given him one of her looks that could kill.

"Pez," she said prying me off her and placing her hands on each of my shoulders. "You don't have to go out there."

But-" I tried to argue.

"No, listen to me. I know the last thing you want to do right now is answer a bunch of questions in front of a crowd of people while you plaster a fake smile on your face. You don't have to go out there and fake it, love," she told me, her voice soft and sharp.

"Yes I do," I told her. "And I'm fine."

"Perrie don't bull shit me. You're crying right now; you're anything but fine," she called me out. "I'll just say you weren't feeling well." I stared into her eyes for a second before letting out a sigh and wiping the tears from my face.

"Okay," I agreed quietly. I gave her one last short hug before returning to the dressing room and locking the door before sliding down it and letting my cries fill the silence.

-

I wake up in the hotel bedroom I slept in the night before, though I don't remember drifting off. I must've cried myself to sleep sometime during the interview. It's weird, I don't recall feeling tired in the short time I was conscious, but I guess excessive crying for a month wears you out.

I sat up and pushed my hair out of my eyes. 2:30. Had I really been asleep for six hours? That means I missed the signing as well as lunch with Demi I overheard the girls talking about earlier.

I surveyed the room and spotted my laptop on the end table. I bit my lip contemplating on whether or not I should look since last time that happened things didn't end so well... but just a quick glance won't hurt.

I reached over and grasped the silver object and placed it on the bed. I thought of what to type in the search bar before I decided on 'Perrie Edwards nude'. Once I hit 'enter' a full page of article titles popped up and I felt the lump in my throat return. I then went on twitter hoping for a better result but what I found was even worse. 'PerrietheSlutypus' and 'perrieedwardswhoreoftheyear' were the top two trends.

I hadn't even noticed tears started streaming down my face. I was too distracted by how much air the room seemed to have lost and the fact that I had trouble breathing. Calm down, I repeatedly chanted inside my mind, although it didn't have any effect. If anything it only made it more difficult to breathe.

Their words can't hurt you, their blades aren't sharp enough,

I told myself, even though it was an obvious deception. Of course their words damaged me, or else they wouldn't have this much of an effect.

I think a whole hour passed before I somehow managed to calm myself down and even then I was still a bit on edge. I was so focused on settling myself down that I didn't notice Jesy's presence.

"How are you feeling," she asked startling me.

"Fine," I said. "Why didn't you guys wake me up?"

"You looked exhausted so we figured it'd be best to let you rest. We had Sam carry you." Sam is here?

"Oh," was all I said.

"Pear," she said suddenly becoming serious. "Simon has arranged a meeting tomorrow."

"About what. Concerts? Signings? Interviews?"

"No actually he, uh," she started, avoiding my eyes. "He, uh, wanted to meet with just you."

"Oh," I said again, because it's hard to speak when you're terrified and on the verge of another panic attack. "Do you know what about?"

"I think you and I both know a possible reason," she replied. I bit my lip glanced at the computer screen before returning my gaze back to her.

"Does he know the picture is fake?"

She took a deep breath and scratched the back of her neck. "Give me your laptop," was all she said.

I quickly closed the tab that was pulled up and handed my laptop to her. She typed in a few things and before handing it back to me. "Just read the title."

I was puzzled but complied to her request. I searched the screen before my eyes found the bold print at the top. 'Zayn Malik leaks nudes of fiance Perrie Edwards '

My whole body went completely numb as I reread the same line over and over again refusing to believe what I was seeing. There was no way Zayn would do this. I know Zayn, and this is something he is completely incapable of. The media is just looking for a good story.

"Scroll down," Jesy told me as if sensing my uncertainty.

Once again I complied to her demand and scrolled down the article where a screen shot of one of Zayn's tweets was located. It was a tweet that had the nude picture of 'me' and I cupped my hand over mouth once I saw it. No. He couldn't, he wouldn't.

"is it true Zayn leaked this picture of you" the pap's words replayed in my mind, and I was beyond terrified the answer to that might be yes.