warmth - (phan)

7

"can we go to the convenience store quickly?" louise asks as we walk in the cool evening breeze. "i want a popsicle."

"that's pretty random but count me in," i answer.

louise and i are both walking back from tutoring. we go every wednesday from 7:00-8:00 pm.

we turn the corner as i hear the low rumble of a train in the distance. the glow from the sign of the convenience store becomes apparent as we start walking closer.

"i saw you and phil during gym class," louise says casually.

"what?" i reply.

"y'know when you two were holding hands and running," she goes on, "gotta say howell, didn't know you'd be so blunt about something."

"what are you on about, louise?" i sigh. "i wasn't running, he came up grabbed my hand and forced me to."

"there was more to it," she says as we step inside the store and go to the freezer.

"what do you mean?" i say.

"daniel, i know you better than anybody. the look you give him is even foreign to me!" she exclaims. "and when it comes to daniel howell, i'm an expert!"

"louise you're making no sense," i answer, grabbing a popsicle from the freezer.

"look, what i'm trying to say is; you just look at phil in a way i've never seen you look at someone. it's just so different and i've noticed it," she explains as we pay for our popsicles.

"so you're still on this?" i sigh. "when are you going to drop this?"

"i dunno...when are you gonna drop it?" she retorts.

"h-huh?" i stammer, confused. what is she saying?

"never mind it..." she looks up at the sky twinkling with bright little starts. "hey dan?" she asks, suddenly sounding concerned.

"yeah?" i reply, taking a bite out of my popsicle.

"a-are you ever gonna play the piano again?" she asks, looking at me.

my stomach drops and i gulp, dropping my head down to the ground.

i keep walking, not replying. a few moments go by in silence, the only sound being our feet scuffling along the pavement.

"s-sorry...i shouldn't have asked," she says, lowly. it's not like her to ask something like this. louise isn't really the soppy, or sincere type. she's silly and comedic. where did this come from?

"i-it's fine...but you know what my answer would've been," i reply.

we turn onto our street, and her house comes up right before mine.

"well this is me," she says stopping at the front. "goodnight dan."

"night," i reply as she walks off.

•••

the floor is cold as i stand in the doorway of the dark room.

"are you ever gonna play the piano again?"

am i?

her words echo in my head. she left me questioning myself again. what have i been holding onto this whole time? that one day some miracle is going to magically come around and i'll be able to finally play again? that i'll be able to hear and feel the notes again?

things like that don't happen.

the moonlight shines through the window, casting a glow upon the dusty piano.

will you ever come back to me?

or will you fade away into the distance like everything else?

a/n: woooo short chapter! sorry for how short it is. I just thought there should be a variety in the length of chapters. thank you for reading! means the world, really :)

-m