warmth - (phan)

1

i rest my finger tips on the black and white piano keys, feeling the smoothness of each and every glossy key. the second my finger touches the piano, my heart fills with content and happiness. this instrument has somehow become my will to live.

"come on," i hear my mother's voice. i turn to see her standing in the doorway. "give the piece a go."

i nod, returning back to my position at the piano. i let out a deep breath, and play. gently caressing each key, and swaying side to side. the music fills my ears, and i shut my eyes, letting it consume me. the melodies sink into my skin, and flow through me.

despite my gentle fingers, the piano has its way of being loud and clear for everyone to hear. everyone catches the sweet symphonies and has an urge to listen.

the pure notes frolic around me with such joy. nothing in the entire world has ever made me as happy as the piano has. given any circumstance, the piano heals me, and makes my problems fade away.

before i know it, i've played through the piece, leaving me breathless.

i hear clapping from the door, snapping me out of it.

"that was wonderful, dan!" mom beams.

"thanks," i answer, my heart fluttering. the piano has this affect on me.

thank you. thank you, piano. thank you for always being there.

•••

"daniel!" someone shouts. i snap my head up, and blink to recover my blurry vision. i glance at my surroundings. i must've fallen asleep in class, and started dreaming.

"y-yes sir?" i stammer, staring up at mr. robinson. he grunts, with a disgusted look on his face.

"fall asleep one more time, and you've got detention for the rest of the week," he warns. i sigh, slumping back in my chair.

yet another dream about the piano. though, would it really be a dream? it's more of a memory, because it actually happened. god, it seems like an eternity ago.

if only the piano still had that affect on me. if only i could still have the same will i once had. i haven't even touched the piano in two years. i can't even look at it, without feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

everything used to be so simple. i used to be so carefree, and free-spirited. i don't understand why it had to end up this way. why did everything have to spiral into chaos, and eventually leave me defeated? in the end, i was the one impacted the most. it may sound selfish, but that's one of the traits i've developed over the time.

the bell rings, signalling the end of the day. all the students scurry outside of the building, hurriedly. waiting to break free from this prison.

i shuffle down the hallway, my head tilted downwards. i don't look up anymore. my vision is always fixated on the floor, watching my feet drag along the shiny floors.

it's cold outside. there's no wind, but the air has that familiar cool chill sitting in it. no matter where you go, the cold chill lingers, demanding to be felt.

i shove my long fingered hands into my pockets, hoping to achieve some warmth, and protection from the cold.

•••

i reach my house, unlocking the door and stepping into the familiar living room. the reoccurring scent of dust and books hits me. home sweet home.

it's silent. as always. nothing out of the usual. the same peaceful silence, smell of dust and old books, and everything in its place.

sometimes i find myself expecting to actually see someone in the house, but come home to see nobody, like always. then, i feel a slight twinge of disappointment though. what was i expecting? for mom to be standing in the kitchen, waiting for me with tea? i end up laughing at myself for being so dumb.

you're alone, daniel.

why did you have to die? why did you have to leave me here? i needed you, and all you did was die on me.

why are you blaming her? it's not her fault for dying. it's yours. maybe if you did anything to help it wouldn't have ended up this way.

no matter how much i try to deny it, i can't let go of the fact that i was partially responsible for mum's death. maybe if i wasn't so wrapped up in piano, and payed attention to her and helped, she'd still be alive.

a/n: yeee first chapter! so like i'm a huge weeb, and i'm way too obsessed with anime. one of my favs is 'your lie in april,' and that's kinda what inspired this phanfic. the characters are sort of similar, but the story line is very different. it's similar in very minimal ways but very different. the only major similarity is the fact that one plays piano and one plays the violin. but yeah hope you enjoyed it! also i'm writing another story, it's called poison, and it be great if you could check it out. thanks for reading!

-m