Hey Class President (A USUK Hetalia Fanfiction)

Chapter 13: All I Can Do is Never Enough

( Alfred's P.O.V. )

3 Months Later

All you can do is never enough. Well, even that's an understatement. You can completely pour your heart out into something, someone. And it'll never be enough. Not for them or yourself or any other bastard in-between. Giving it your all is never enough.

Well, you see, even when you are giving it your all, you never actually are. Not really. There is always just a slight ounce of effort left to put in. Most of us are just too blind to see that. To achieve it. And so, we are left disappointed. Disappointed and alone. Wondering  what we did wrong. How we could have done things differently. 

How we could have actually given it our all.

I was a terrible boyfriend.  A terrible friend. A cock faced jerk with my head so far up my ass, no one could save me. And I messed up. I lost the love of my life. He's never going to remember who I am. What we were. And to be fair, I didn't give him much to remember anyway. But, I don't think I'm going to have a second chance. Not this time. My beloved Arthur doesn't so much as remember my name. And Francis is putting his all into making sure my blonde babe will never so much as try to remember anything about his past. Including myself. He filled Arthur's head with all of these false memories. A loving, caring family. A decent social life. And the forged love the two of them share. And what makes it worse is that Arthur's family has been going along with it. Why? Because Arthur seems happy. He finally seems happy. And I'd be a terrible human being if I were to take that away from him. If I reminded him of the truth.

And so I'd watch from afar. As my soul mate lived a lie. Because he was finally happy. And, when you truly love someone, their happiness is the most important thing to you. Even if it kills you inside. 

And so I'd watch from afar. Occasionally "bumping" into the now distant man in the hallways, just to get a chance to smell his scent once again. He always smelt like burnt scones and lavender, this guy...

Sometimes, I'd bump into him a bit harder, knocking his books out of his hands. And then helping him pick them off. Playing it off as common clumsiness when in reality, I just wanted a few more precious moments with him. A chance to stare into his emerald eyes once more. Maybe exchange a few words. Praying that Francis would not catch on to my little act and shut my whole operation down.

Then, one day, I noticed the bruising. Artie had a nice shiner. His left eye inflamed to the point where he could not see out of it. I remember the rage building inside as I stared. And stared. Causing bystanders around us to stare. Just two guys standing in the middle of the hallway, staring at each other without exchanging a single word.

The boiling point was when I heard that familiar, snake like voice nearly send shivers down my spine.

"Alfred, darling, can you explain to me why your gazing into my lover's eyes? It's rude to stare...Even more rude to stand in the middle of the hallway during passing..." The french man laugh, wrapping an arm around Arthur. MY Arthur.

And yet, I continued to stare. My face slowly reddening. My body beginning to shake. Waiting. Waiting for everyone to leave. Go to class. So that I could kick this bastard's ass. But, they didn't. They just starred right on back at me. So I gave up on waiting. 

I clenched a fist, giving it my all, my true all. Knocking Francis right into the nearby row of lockers. Causing gasps and screams from the crowd as a panic ensued. I then walked over to the frog, picking him up by his shirt collar and slamming him up against the now bent lockers, "You," another slam, "You did this to him," The next slam earned a loud scream from the blonde, causing me to drop him, "This!," shaking uncontrollably, I pointed towards Arthur, who was frozen in fear, "This is all your fault, you...You scumbag! So what? You feed him lies, make him fall completely in love with a man that he hates!? And then BEAT HIM!?" Now, I turned to Arthur, "Is THIS," I motioned to Francis, "What you really want!? Come on, you idiot! Try to remember! At least try! You have to try! Please...You have to give it your all..."

Arthur, still frozen, took a few moments to carefully plan out his response. I noticed his eyes though. Those amazing eyes. Quickly going back and fourth between Francis and I. Full of fear. Full of confusion. I did this to him. My poor Artie. But, it needed to be done. He needed to know.

When I still did not have a response, I took a few steps towards the frightened man, pulling him into my arms as the two of us collapsed to the ground together. Continuing to hold him, I began to plead my case, "I know that I haven't been the best man. I know that. I was horrible towards you. Towards my friends. Even towards my own family. That is unacceptable and unforgivable. I get that, I truly do. But Artie, you have to believe me when I say that loving you gave me life. It gave me a reason to get out of bed in the morning. A reason to stay strong and alive and I just...I need you back, Arthur. I'll change, I promise," Tears were streaming down my face at this point, as I continued to beg for my love back,"Arthur, baby. I need you to remember. I need you to remember, for me, for us. I love you, Arthur Kirkland. I always have and I always will. I loved you when you were the dorky kid no one wanted to be around. I loved you when you had your melt downs and your freak outs. I loved you when you needed a place to crash because your family was too much to handle that day. I loved you when you lost your memory...And I'll continue to love you, whether you remember or not. Because this time, I am going to give it my all. This time, I am going to be the one who gives you a reason to get out of bed in the morning...You are my person, Arthur...How could you forget that???"

Arthur just starred at me in shock. His tiny, freckled hand slowly reaching up and rubbing his bruised eye. He then looked over at Francis, who was beaten and panting on the floor. His expression slowly turning from that of concern to that of confusement and rage. He then looked at me, his eyes wide and scared. As if he was asking me if I was telling the truth or not. After a nod from myself, Arthur was now the one in tears.

"I-I can't remember!" He screamed in frustration, holding his head and beginning to shake, "I-I-I c-can't remember, damnit. WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER!?!?!?" The dirty blonde was now banging his fists on the side of his head. My heart started beating out of my chest. What do I do? What can I do? I couldn't help him with his freak outs then so how the heck am I supposed to do so now!? But then he started starring at me with those big, beady, emerald eyes of his again. The fear so clear in them. And it was as if something in me snapped. Something clicked. And I suddenly knew what to do.

Cupping the frightened man's face in my hands, I crashed my lips to his. Kissing him as passionately as I could. Showing him just how much I loved him. Just how much he meant to me. That I was telling the truth. That I had changed.

It was when I felt him slowly calm and begin kissing me back that I knew I had my little blonde brat back again.

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Author's Note.

I feel like a horrible human being. Leaving you all hanging on so many stories...Many of you are too young to understand this, but, over the past few years, I have had a severe battle with depression. It was winning. And, due to that, I had lost all interest in the simple things that brought me pleasure. Including writing. I am currently on a new medications that are helping with that though. Slightly, but, still helping. And I am slowly beginning to gain my interests back again...I want to finish these stories. I really do. And, I will. Hopefully by the end of this summer. So please, accept my apology. And expect an update or two soon. Thank you for your time,

-Mandy.