Mr Always Right (MxM)

Thirty

Finding Wilan wasn't very difficult, after he'd stormed off we followed a trail of clothing he was wearing and from the looks of things he was wearing nothing but his vest and jeans. Getting him to come home with us also wasn't very difficult but that's probably because explaining to him would be one of the most difficult things we'd have to do and every now and then life cuts you some slack.

By the time we got home he had stopped shaking but his cheeks and nose were still red from the cold.

We stopped in the garage, in the rear view mirror I saw the anger in his eyes as he glared down at his wet socks. He has thrown his shoes at Xander when Xan tried to grab him before he could start to run off.

"Why don't you take Jamie in, Wil and I will have a talk out here. How's that sound bud?" Xan asked still looking at Wilan in the rear view mirror. I hesitated but I felt Xan's hand on my thigh, reassuring me that everything was going to be okay. It was Xander, he always made everything okay.

"Don't call me your buddy. I'm your replacement, nothing more. I was never going to be apart of this bull family" I heard Wil huff out angrily as I got out the car. Everything will be okay.

Xander replied but I don't know what he said, all I know is Wilan rolled his eyes. And as I took Jamie out the car and closed the door I heard Xander say, "you're right, you aren't apart of my family." Nothing is okay.

How could he say that? How did he think it was okay to say that. It wasn't okay to say that.

As I walked further into the house, changed Jamie and put her to bed I got angrier and angrier. I tried calming myself down, telling myself that I heard it out of context but... What the actual fuck Xan?

After an hour of anxiously waiting in the living room, biting my fingernails to nothing two car doors slammed and the two of them walked out. Xan let out a huge sigh and rubbed Wilan's shoulders and gave them a pat. He then smiled tiredly at me and told Wil that it was late and a good time to get ready for bed.

Wil shrugged Xander's blazer off and handed it to him before walking to the stairs with a blank look on his face. "Want us to come say goodnight when you're done?" I asked but he shook his head, "are you oka-"

"Let him be alone" Xan said from behind me.

"Fine." I had my arms crossed over my chest as I watched Wilan walk up the stairs. Xan came and wrapped his arms around me from behind, I tried my hardest not to step out of his embrace and when he placed his soft lips on my neck I didn't want to shrink into myself but I couldn't help it. He sighed again and let go of me.

"Want some tea? I'm making vanilla if you're interested" he asked walking to the kitchen. He sounded tired, who wouldn't be? He does so much for us without the comfort of his husband.

His husband, a selfish prick who he can only touch if things are at their worst.

I scurried not far behind him and sat by the counter, about to say something but he turned and put a box of rusks on the counter in front of me with a seamless smile. "Yes you can dunk those in my tea, just don't let any pieces fall in the cup or I'll make you drink the soggy mess." He knew me so well.

He waited for the water to boil and I stared at his vacant expression, he was worried and tired and it seems as if he's aged at least ten years in the last two hours.

"Xan what did you two speak about?" I asked trying to pull him back to earth.

He smiled, because he knew I needed a smile right now, mumbled "don't worry."

"I can't not worry, you're my world Xan. If my world isn't okay I need to do everything in my power to make everything okay again. You worry about everything and I worry about you. It's the way we work because I know the last thing on your list is you. You will check a thousand times on everything and neglect yourself in the process because that's just the caring and loving person you are."

He let out a defeated chuckle and reached to hold my hands that were on the table. They shook but he needed comfort so I would be that.

He has been my comfort since Fiona and asked for nothing in return, his only thank you was me being distant and not accepting his soft, gentle love. I was neglecting my husband and that needed to stop right now.

I don't know how I didn't see my distance was only hurting him. I guess I was blinded by my self-involvement or self-loathing. I was scared he may have resented me for not keeping Fiona safe deep down but I see now he just needs comfort, he needed it just as much as I did.

But this time it wasn't me that pulled back.

"Will I ever be able to touch you like I used to?"

"What do you mean Xan?"

"I mean will I ever be able to hold you again? Kiss you? Will I ever get to cuddle with you? Fuck you senseless like I use to? Or is this just how things are going to be from now on? I try and you pull back and when you try I get scared so I pull back."

"Of course not Xan. I love you, I still do and I always will" I say getting up from my seat and walking to him.

"I know and I love you too Caspiry. I love you more than anything. I don't love you like the desert loves the rain or the sea loves the moon, I don't love you like that. I love you more, I love you the only way I can. The way Xander Talisker loves his husband Caspiry Talisker but..."

"But what Xan?" I asked getting scared. My heart was beating in my brain making my head throb and causing friction that made my ears burn and forced the water in my body to cry to escape through my eyes. I watched his lips quiver as his own eyes acted as a fire brigade and tried to extinguish the fire he must be feeling in his chest right now. He couldn't look at me.

"You're my soul mate angel but sometimes you're not meant to spend your life with your soul mate, sometimes you just love them more than life but you can't keep them."

"But Xander-"

"I love you but what if our day in the sun has ended?"

"Then I will hold you in the dark and wait for the sun to rise again!" I shouted at him.

"Maybe we should get a divorce."

Maybe I decided to comfort him a little too late.

Comment your reaction/thoughts please? XD