Healing the Heart (Dramione)

12|| An Addictive Kind of Pain

"Why don't you cover it up?" The intensity in his eyes betrayed his gentle tone. It was rare to see Hermione wear anything but short sleeved shirts. Even in the winter time she would bundle up with scarves and jackets but underneath wear short sleeves. Draco, on the other hand, rarely wore anything but long sleeves, even on the hottest day. At work, under his scrubs, he always had a long sleeved shirt on despite the fact that they wore Healer's robes over their scrubs.

Her hand stopped writing as her eyes drifted to her left arm for a moment. "It's part of me, who I am. Why should I hide it?" She looked up at him. "Scars tell stories." Setting down her quill, she  slowly reached across the desk towards his arm. Gently wrapping her fingers around his wrist, and ignoring him when he tried pulling his arm back, she turned his forearm over. "Injuries you've survived, your past. They're memories of a difficult time." She unbuttoned his robe cuff and started rolling up his sleeves. "They show that you overcame something that made you stronger when it could have made you weaker. Why should you hide something that was the product of your strength?"

Goosepimples raised as she brushed the pads of her fingers over his faded Mark. There was no way to get rid of it, she knew he had tried; the magic was too dark and too deep to be removed. Once Voldemort had been defeated all the Dark Marks had turned grey, and then faded to white scars over time. His own marred his milky flesh. "I'm not ashamed of my scars." She brought her left arm to rest beside his, palm facing up. The white letters stood out harshly against her tanned skin. "No one should be."

Draco cautiously brushed his thumb over the word etched into her skin. Mudblood. He couldn't forget that night. How could he forget it? The screams, the pain, the death. How could he have been so stupid? "Hermione," He breathed. She lifted her eyes to his as he leaned closer, wrapping his fingers around her forearm. What could he say to make up for that night? To make up for the damage he'd done, the pain he'd inflicted? Gently placing his other hand on her neck, he pressed his forehead against hers. "Hermione, I-"

The harsh rapping of knuckles on wood prevented Draco from continuing. "Oh!" A very red Hannah Abbot took in the intimate looking scene before her, her hand still raised to the door. "I didn't mean to interrupt..."

"What's wrong?" Hermione stood up, her arm sliding from Draco's grasp, her fingers trailing down to his wrist as she rose.

"The patient in room 315 keeps asking for you." She turned her eyes downward, partially embarrassed to have walked in on the two, but mostly because the glare Draco was giving her was enough to kill.

"I'll head there right now." Without another word, she grabbed her robe and strode out of the room.

Sighing deeply, he slid down in his seat and rested his head against the back of the chair. It had been years since that day but not a moment went by that wasn't filled with regret. "How could I have been so stupid?" He rubbed his eyes. Most who were there that day had moved on or passed away. Draco couldn't. He was haunted by that night. By the war. Sleep often evaded him.

Rising from his seat, he exited the room and walked numbly towards The Director's office. He, like many others, had difficulty deciding what to do with his life after the war. He didn't want to become an Auror, not that they would allow him to even if he wanted it. Even though Aurors hunted dark wizards and helped keep the world safe, Draco didn't want to be put in situations that required dueling, fearing it would bring back painful memories. His father wanted him to become a businessman, but Draco didn't want to deal with the fake pleasantries and backstabbing that came with the industry. His desire to help those who had been hurt stemmed from a self redemption mission. And that's how he ended up becoming a Healer. If he could help enough people through healing, then maybe he could make up for all the pain and suffering he had caused.

"Director?"

The older man was sitting at his desk when Draco passed through the doorway. "Ah, Healer Malfoy, what do I owe the pleasure? Please, sit."

Draco fell into the seat and rubbed his hand against the back of his neck. "I'm not feeling well. I think it would be best if I went home for the rest of the day."

The Director's blue eyes regarded him with concern. "What seems to ail you? Perhaps myself or another Healer could take a look?"

"It's nothing physical." He leaned forward in his chair and rested his forearms against his knees. "I was horrible to Healer Granger when we were in school; I'm sure she informed you so when you asked her to help me. I bullied her relentlessly. I was blinded by arrogance and the teachings of prejudiced parents. I said horrible things to her, let horrible things happen to her."

"On the contrary, Healer Malfoy, she never mentioned it." The Director shook his head softly. "Healer Malfoy, do you want to know how my conversation with Healer Granger went when I first told her that she would be supervising you four years ago? She was just given a position as a Healer in this hospital when I asked her to watch over you. I promised her that in no way would her decision threaten her position here. She was given a week to decide whether or not she would accept the task assigned to her. She took less than a day. It was her choice. I believe she saw the same thing that I did."

"A pity case?"

"Redemption, Healer Malfoy, a shot at redemption. It was her choice and I can say with certainty that she never truly regretted her decision. Not once." The Director rose from his chair and placed a kind hand on Draco's shoulder. "Healer Malfoy, I believe you enjoy the regret and pain you feel. No, enjoy isn't the right word, you're addicted to it. You're rather self-loathing, aren't you? You seem to believe that you don't have the right to be happy. That you don't deserve it. You're dead wrong. She forgave you a long time ago, it's about time you forgave yourself. Now, you are more than welcome to leave early today if you choose."

"Director."

"Yes, Healer Malfoy?"

"That's not the only thing." His gray eyes were troubled. "I didn't bully her just because of prejudice. I loved her Director. All through school I loved her but was too afraid to show it. Afraid of what my parents would say, what my classmates would say. Afraid of what she would say. You have a rule here, you know which one I'm referring to."

The Director smiled sadly. "I do."

"I'm going to break it. Well, I'll attempt to. My feelings haven't changed. I can't help it, Director." He stated miserably. "I won't be able stop myself. Weasley was an idiot to let her go, I don't intend to do the same. Casual friendship may be all she wants, but it's not all I want. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice and try to push her away again. I'll regret it again if I don't try for something more."

The Director closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. "Now I know that you like doing things you're told not to. I know you're attracted to the forbidden, but I can't budge on this. Which will make it more difficult for you to hold back, but let me give you some advice. Healer Granger just went through a break up with a man she had been involved with for a very long time, six years I believe. She doesn't need someone immediately trying to pull a move on her."

"I would never-"

The Director held up a hand. "I know, but what she needs now is a friend. I know that you two have been becoming rather good friends for four years now, but she doesn't need a man, she needs her friend. Don't do anything to hurt her right now. She would also be devastated if I had to transfer someone to a different floor because he had difficulty containing his feelings." He gave Draco a pointed but warm look. "I know how you feel about her, but I need both of you here right now. Something's going to happen. I'm not sure what but I can feel it. We've had peace for far too long."

~~~

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"Um... are you busy, tonight? If not, maybe we could..." She trailed off as he grinned at her. "What?"

Draco stood up, placed his hands on the desk, and leaned towards her. "Healer Granger, are you asking me on a date?"