A little bit of wisdom

Getting Lost...

There are many ways to get lost. Not just physically, like you don't know where you are. Not knowing where you are emotionally or mentally, being lost in your emotions, being lost in your imagination or a book, being lost in thought and conversation, or the total chicle of being lost in someone's eyes.

There are probably hundreds of thousands more out there. It's weird how that works. And though I've never been lost physically(ha ha, that's right. I've never been lost in my entire life! :P), I've been lost in the other senses. Sometimes I say I'll just read of a few minutes, the next thing I know it's been hours. And I'm like: What!? That's impossible! You're lying!

Well it was kinda stupid of me to say that because the person would pull out their phone and show me the time. And I just look at it, still don't believe them and say they're lying. But that's just to annoy them a little bit. But I'm a major book worm, so it makes sense I get lost in a book.

How to get lot in a book? Rather quite simple truthfully. You can just read a book you like and lose track of time, or you can go into a deeper kind of lost. When I read a book, I try to put myself as the main character. I fins something we have in common and go from there. I feel the emotions the character feels. I don't even remember reading words on the page, I remember it as if it were a memory. Like I was actually there.

It probably sounds weird, but who said I was normal? Being normal is boring. And besides being normal makes you weird, and being weird makes you normal. Being insane makes you sane, and being sane makes you insane. Up is down. And down is up.

Anyway, I'm getting off topic. And then there's getting lost in thought. Which, I can guarantee, has or will happen to you more than once. It could be a day dream or it could be you trying to solve a problem. Maybe you're just thinking.

I used to do that a lot. Just sit someone, stare and nothing and think. Sometimes I'm crying or glaring or smiling and I don't even know it. I'm just so lost in my thoughts. It's not until my friends snap me out of it that I notice. They probably think I'm crazy. One second I'm crying then smiling then glaring then laughing. It must be really weird to watch. Me going through all these different emotions in seconds.

Speaking of emotions, how to get lost in them. Have you ever been so happy that you can't be upset about anything? Or so sad nothing can cheer you up? That, my friend, is being lost in your emotions. For some it is a rare thing, for others it's every common.

Most people believe I'm always happy, like Stargirl. She never showed any emotion, but happiness. Like me. I don't like showing pain or anger. I don't like those emotions. But we all have them. And sometimes they slip out. And are exposed to everyone around me. It's very rare, and I mean very rare. I like people believing that I am always happy.

I'm not good with people giving me sympathy. I'm an empath, I give sympathy. I don't get it. And that may sound weird, but it's just who I am. And to my friends, I know you give me sympathy, but have you ever wondered why I don't let you. You're sympathy, it's like...I don't know. I just don't like it. I'm just better at hearing and solving other people's problems than talking about me own.

It's fun to be lost sometimes. To get away from everything. I like being lost most of the time. I'm in my own little world. My escape when everything is too stressful. It's good to get lost sometimes. But then there is the kind of lost that you don't want to be.

The kind where you lost the real you. And you're a ghost of who you were. Not knowing who you are or what you are. I've been this kind before. I was always questioning myself. Did I like to do this? Do I enjoy playing that?

Those kind of questions would roam in my head while I watched everyone else play and talk. I just sat there, alone. Watching other kids play games and talk to friends. I thought about what I would do...but I didn't know. I was more like a ghost. An image of myself, even though I was long gone.

I still get like that sometimes. Pondering(yes, only I still ponder) where the old me is. If she's happy. And I look in the mirror, not knowing the girl who looks back at me. Then I see the old me for a few seconds, her hair in pig tails. Her smile warm and inviting. I lost myself when I was a little girl.

All of my best friends left. And each of them took apart of her with them. Without knowing they did of course, but they still did. And the new me, the girl I don't recognize, she's...just an older version. My head knows that, but my heart doesn't.

The head and heart are rarely ever on the same page. Always auguring. But the only way to know which will win is what is stronger. You're heart, which holds all your love and happiness or your head, which holds all your logic?

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Author's Note

It's easy to tell who wins. For me it's the heart. The heart normally always wins in the end with me. Because I trust too much. Because I care too much. Because I love too much.

At least that's what people say. But what's the point of a heart and trust if you don't use them?

P.S

Sorry this one  is short. Had to rap this up quickly. Thanks for reading! Means a lot. Hope you enjoyed and I hope you read tomorrow's too!