Forgetting What Could've Been

Chapter 1: Another Life

Footsteps

Banging sounds echoing

Running

She could see and remember everything instantly... but then she couldn't as her head hit the floor. 

Copyright 2016
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First day of University 

     Fabiola Sanchez stood in her room, trying to make out her tired face in the bedroom mirror. She stood a while, listening to the "clicks" of the clock on her wall.  Her window was cracked slightly, with light September wind flourishing through her sheer curtains as each minute went by. Fabiola watched a glimpse of outside through her window, the morning looking dull and blueish. She finally got herself to turn on the cream-colored lamp that had been sitting on her old nightstand since childhood. The light flickered but managed to stay on, illuminating a yellowish light.

She admired the new white top she had bought for the first day of her third year of University. She smiled hopefully as she brushed her long, dirty blonde wavy hair. The truth is, she was nervous, more than excited, about transferring to a college in a new town with people she had never seen or met before. The college was small, with most students knowing each other. Everyone seemed to know each other in this town. She wasn't worried so much about the people, but she worried about the displacement she felt in this town and among people her own age. She disregarded her feelings of trying to fit in since constantly moving from place to place was the norm. Besides her family, the only people consistent in her life were her two childhood best friends, Jenesia Andrews and Karina Ray. 

They all had met in the small neighborhood when they were seven and four and spent most of their elementary years together. In middle elementary school, however, she moved to a different city and then to a different state. A couple more schools came after that. A few years passed, and Fabi rekindled Jenesia and Karina's friendship after years of texting and video chatting.
       

Fabiola lived with her single mother, Lucy, and two half-sisters, Jessica, twelve, and Jenny, ten. Jessica was entering 7th grade, and Jenny was in 5th. Fabiola could tell they didn't have much trouble attending a new school. They were both eager and full of excitement. Fabi, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck.

Moving was hard. They would move a lot during her childhood. It had been especially difficult for Fabi. Her dad had left them when she was thirteen. Did she remember him just leaving? There was no explanation, just a whole lot of nervousness. There was a lot of yelling, hurt, and anger between her mother and him. The days followed with so much resentment that it started to negatively affect Fabi and how she viewed her relationships with others around her. Then, one night, her mother had packed everything, which resulted in the beginning of the constant moving. Years later, she met a man, fell in love, had a small backyard wedding, and had her two little sisters. But with the constant moving and her mother being a "not so stable secretive mother," according to her ex-husband, Fabi guessed that was why they didn't work out. Fabi would cry, begging yet another man, a father figure, not to go. Again and again, she failed. It never worked then, and it never worked now. Her mother had been devastated and thought that "starting fresh" would help once again when, in reality, it only made Fabi and her feel more miserable.

This resulted in a lack of spending money for the time being, which meant Fabi couldn't live her dream of going away to a dream college and moving out at eighteen. She longed for the cliche college experiences: going out with her girlfriends, joining clubs, living independently, and possibly meeting who she thought was the love of her life when it was a one-night stand. She wanted to experience life. Instead, she worked at an interior paint shop, stirring all day on the weekends.  Soon enough, she would, and she hoped for that other life.  

They moved back to the small neighborhood in which she grew up. And for once, she felt at home again. She liked it here so far and hoped it would last forever for her sisters. 

After getting ready, Fabi went downstairs and saw her two sisters already having breakfast. She grabbed some cereal and joined them. When they were all done eating, Lucy came downstairs and made coffee. She rubbed her temples and sighed. Fabi pretended not to notice.

"I'm ready for the first day," Jenny said eagerly. "Finally."

"That's great, honey," Lucy glanced at Fabi, needing to grab her attention. Fabi continued to look busy. "How about you, Jessica?"

"Uh... Yeah, mom." Jessica said in a hurry to pack her things. "I'm ready, I guess. I'm all good as long as I don't get lost. It's weird having to move this late." 

"You won't. I promise." Lucy said. "Pay attention, relax, and everything else will fall into place."

 After everyone was done dressing and getting ready to go, Fabi grabbed her sweater and waited for Jenny and Jessica at the front door.

Just pay attention and relax. It was the same speech her mother would give her after they would move.  As she put her sweater on, Lucy approached her and placed her hand on her shoulder.

"A new beginning, huh?" she handed Fabi her lunch. "My girl is in college now. Everything will fall into place. "

Fabi looked at her. "Yeah, I've heard that one before."

Fabi walked Jenny and Jessica to their school bus stop and slowly headed up the road to take the public commuter bus. She mentally prepared herself for what was yet to happen and could feel herself picking at her fingernails. She took a breath and put on her headphones to listen to music. 

On the way there,  Jenesia and Karina hopped on the bus and met Fabi towards the back. Jenesia and Karina were also roommates, which made Fabi think she was a third wheel in their friendship, but reframed the thoughts in her fear of missing out. Karina smiled as she listened to Jenesia update Fabi on her summer hookups, parties, and the thought of graduating college soon. Jenesia put up her heavily dyed black hair and smiled at Fabi; the lip ring she impulsively got one night out was still planted on her face. Jenesia was in her last year of college and had a mind of her own. Although her demeanor and words could scare someone if she tried to, she was honest. And that's one of the things Fabi liked about her.  Karina, on the other hand, was the total opposite. Her blue eyes and light brown shoulder-length hair gave a more innocent, girly impression. Fabi never really thought about what type of person she was herself. She always just let whatever work work.

"Oh come on, moving couldn't have been that bad." Jenesia noticed Fabi not saying much. Fabi had started zoning off to her music and quickly took out her headphones. 

"Summer was boring. Nothing much went on besides work and unpacking, but I'm definitely excited to start classes again. Especially the parties." Fabi struggled to smile, wanting to so badly vent about her mother and how distant and distressed she had been all summer. 

Karina "I'm excited too. I know I'm only a first year, but im glad I went to the orientation with Jenesia, so she showed me all the cool study spots." Jenesia continued. She was an orientation leader all summer, helping first-year and transfer students navigate the campus. It odd seeing Jenesia as a leader. " Volunteer experience for graduate school apps," was her saying.

"I'll help you get to know new people. After all, it must suck having to start over. I can't wait for the school year to end already." Karina groaned. "Jenesia told me stories of all the girls she had to deal with. People never grow up."

Fabi frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Ugh. I hate seeing the same annoying people in the same boring town. Like, come on, give me a break." Jenesia said.

"True. But come on, it can't be that bad." Fabi nudged her. "I'm excited."

They hopped off the bus and went into their main campus. Fabi had a feeling this year was going to turn out fine. Great was a better word.