A book without a name [Phan]

Chapter 1

It all started years ago, when I first came to this school. My little family, my mom, brother and I had just moved to London from Wokingham.

Yeah, you've heard that correctly. Only my mom. My dad left us after I came out as bisexual to my parents.

My mum didn't care, she loved me anyway. Dad just left. He stormed out of the house after I came out and never came back. It was a little sad, but it wasn't my problem that he couldn't accept me. We moved away soon after.

I was 14 when we moved to London and I was happy to explore the city and make new friends. In my old school I was bullied a lot for the way I liked to dress. I was ready for a new start.

But as soon as I had set one foot in the school they called me a freak or that pastel kid. From the first moments on I was an outcast. But most people called me a fag. I hate it when people call me that. I'm bisexual not gay.

They called me a fag before they even knew my sexuality, or me. Just because I wear pastel clothes and flower crowns. Was there something wrong with being yourself? I don't think so. And so thought my best friend Louise.

She was the only one who talked to me and was nice. She was amazing.
She talked a lot, but I liked to listen to her.

I'm still more the silent type, I don't talk that much. I let my feelings out through my drawings and the quotes that I put under them.

Louise was the only person who really talked to me that first day. She was nice and sweet and wanted to be friends with me.

Louise didn't really have many friends before me. Sure she had a few friends but not a lot.
People always thought she was wierd. They didn't even have a reason to call her wierd. 'But what is wrong with being a little crazy sometimes' is what she always said. She is the best friend I could've ever asked for and she'll probably always be.

You also have my friend PJ. He was cool and hangs out with us often. I think he secretly likes Chris, one of the other popular boys. I at least ship them. They would be cute together. PJ was a really loyal and good friend.

I liked to draw. When I first went to that new school, my mum bought me a sketch book. First I started drawing things I liked.

I liked video games, pokemon, flowers and llamas (of course). But then I saw him at school. He was surounded by a lot of people. He wore almost nothing with colour, only black.

That was when I started drawing people. Not just people, I started drawing him. The boy all in black, with a black hair, blue dyed fringe and deep blue, green, yellow eyes.

I drew him a lot. Half of my sketch book was filled with drawings of him. Sometimes I painted him and sometimes I used colour pecils to make the drawings more realistic.

If you saw my sketch book you could see how I evolved in drawing and choosing quotes, but also how he got tattoos, piercing and how his hair changed over time.

I've never put my name in my sketch book or under a drawing, only if it was one for school, but never in my sketch book. I don't know... I just like it to be that way. So no one knows it's mine.

Under each drawing of him, I wrote a quote to express how I feel.

But he will never ever see them. He probably won't even notice me. I hope someday he will notice me, but it's highly unlikely. But there is always hope.

So that is me, Daniel James Howell and this is the story about how I lost my sketch book and found the love of my life.

❤️💛💚💙💜

Hope you like it so far. There won't be any trigger warning system in this story, unless you count The absence of a father one.

I love everyone that reads my stories.

>•<Deathsunny>•<