This little mind of mine

Let's do romance~

I come out of the changing room only to see him there, just waiting for me. He's quiet. I know there's something wrong. He stands there, unmoving. I pass along by him, knowing his next move. As I walk back to my room, he follows along, waiting until no one can see us. I can feel the anxiety go to my head. The best of my heart pumping through my ears as I approach my door.

Is he actually going to do it?

Time begins to slow down. The adrenaline flooding my veins. My impatience clouding my view. He walks behind me, a good distance away but when I start slowing down...he doesn't. The space between us becomes smaller and smaller.

Should I just let him?

I grab the door knob, only to be greeted by his impatience. He grabs my hand that is on the knob and opens the door. He pulls me into the room, slamming the door behind me. "It's dark," I say. I feel his face directly above mine. His warm breathing on my forehead. He knows as much as I do what we're doing is wrong. But he doesn't care.
"Hehe, I know." I could feel his chest rise and fall when he giggled. It sounded so cute. I want him. I want him to mess me all up. I want to give myself up to him. I want him to feel me up, know every inch of me. I have him wrapped around my finger and I can do anything I want to him. But I know, this is all wrong. My heart beats a million beats per minute. I feel as though I'm going to faint. My head filling up with the blood rush.

Do it

He lays his hand on my cheek. Brushing his thumb as if to sooth me.
I look off to the side. I feel embarrassed.

What's wrong with me?

My cheeks flush red. I thank god that he didn't turn on the lights.

Do it

"Don't tell me you are embarrassed?" I know he's smirking. The sound of his voice going ever so slightly higher. The breathing slightly off because he is closing his mouth. The way he worded it. I know he is teasing me.
"Me? Embarrassed? Psh... do you know me?" I adjust my voice to give off that persuasive tone. I mouthed it so it sounded natural not as rejection. He does that giggle where you huff instead of a small laugh and then you smile. It worked. He puts his other hand onto my other cheek and moves my head to face his. My eyes have finally adjusted to the darkness surrounding us.

Come on

I see his facial features more clearly. He is smirking. I stare straight into his deep blue eyes. Finding that urge that I was afraid of.....or maybe I wanted it.

Just go

He gently pins me up against the wall. My knees begin to give away. The window gives away light that allows me to see...everything. He's holding back. He's trying, for me. I'm so selfish. This is all wrong.

But we want it

We have to stop. He slowly gets closer. His eyes sparkling in the dim light. That deep blue. So sincere, so kind. I'm slowly sinking into his abyss.

Just do it

My body is getting so weak. I open my mouth to try and speak. But, of course, nothing comes out. He keeps coming closer. I can't do this with him.

It has to be him

This is all wrong. I have to stop. His hands start to feel really warm. I sink even deeper.

I want him, only him

We are only inches apart. His eyes glistening in this moon light, his lips so....I can't.

I can

I need to stop.

I want him to go

This is bad.

I feel good

No.

Yes.

His lips only got to caress mine but I push him gently. He barely resists. We come apart. I finally can breathe.

Was I holding my breath this whole time?

I look down in shame. My face still red from what just happened. I long for his warmth. His hands on my face. I bring my fingers up to my lips where he barely even brushed over, wanting more than just his touch.
"Ya know....if you want to we can." He tries to close the gap between us. But I know that if that happens, everything can and will be my fault.
"You know, you never asked in the first place," I look up. He's smiling oh so cute-ly. But I only need to widen the gap just a bit more, "yet I still have business to tend to." I walk to the door and open it. "Good night."

I close the door.