It's 1990 and 17 year old Zaria is on her way to college, she dreams of becoming a rapper thats on top of the world. Watch her date and strike up friendships some of the most famous and legendary artists like tupac, biggie, brandy, the wayans, and m...
"I've told you time again, I can't deal your lies How could you tell me this & look me in the eyes?" -Michel'le
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Zaria Mid October 1990 Everything just halted, the album, the writing sessions, the mixing sessions, everything stopped, all at once it seemed. Everyday I went to visit him more often than Rollo or Puff who either wouldn't come or would tell me to just say hi to his aunt or his daughter. It was real fake if you ask me, and I wasn't feeling Rollo or Puffs vibes.
But that wasn't what had me sick, the situation itself was very scary and nerve racking just sitting there seeing him so helpless, his aunt sat there with him and I everyday taking care of him, it was like even though he was in a coma I grew closer to him, I spent my days with him just sitting with his aunt watching tv and reading magazines until visiting hours were over and it was time to go home.
His aunt and I became really good friends too, she blamed herself but I assured her it wasn't her fault it could have happened any where at anytime, "oh I know but I feel some responsibility for not leaving Newark when I had the chance cause crack ruined everything so many children killed." She would say. I started picking up his responsibilities too, I picked up Zhané from daycare everyday in Newark and sometimes I'd bring her back to my house in Harlem and I'd babysit her with the help of X who had started to become more mature in the way he acted and presented his self.
But I was getting worried really really worried, like how worried you get when something god value is missing or when there seems to be some impending doom that is inescapable.
It had been three weeks since the shooting and it seemed like he made no progress whatsoever he didn't get worse but he didn't get any better according to what I heard the doctors tell Ms. Goldie, and the fact that Rollo tried to talk to me about finding a replacement for him but I refused eachtime, that sent me over the edge.
"How you just gonna do our friend like that Rollo, OUR friend he's not even dead he has a chance at life!" I said everytime he tried to bring up the shit "ZARIA it's business I keep telling you this everybody feels the same we should replace him, it's not too late to do so we're still in the album process." He'd say, Rollo was really starting to piss me off "tell them I don't give a FUCK about business nigga replace him and I'll make sure we ALL fail, I will be the biggest bitch in this MUTHAFUCKA, I promise you right here I will be late everyday to rehearsal, I will be incompetent in the studio, I will be insulting to everyone try me Rollo TELL THEM TO FUCKING WAIT!"
I couldn't deal with it they were playing me, but Andre would call calm me down and remind me that I had signed a contract and that I could be libel if I didn't participate the way the label wanted me too, "well uncle Dre can you tell the people at MCA to wait a minute we have a remix on the radio, we can't just replace him he already introduced him self on the remix." I said, he agreed to talk to the people at MCA but all the while I was still going to the hospital everyday and taking care of Jeris business, not like he had any anyway.
Each day Rollo would call with the same line, even Puff would call and try to convince me but at least he was nice about it, They even had fucking Lamont call form Syracuse like he was going to help change my mind, but Puff, Puff was different he could throw tantrums and be an asshole but he always had a strong persuasive side to him where he could soften you up"Yo Z just give it a chance if Jeri get out of his coma and is fit to work then we can talk to the people at MCA about canceling the replacement... just give it a chance Z." He'd say I wanted to agree but I had some terms.
The next day I called Andre and had him set up a meeting, where I placed my demands, "I want full control of who can be in the group, so that means I'm running auditions, if I find some one I like I'll let you decide, but if Jeri comes out of the coma either you get rid of the other member or you make us into a group of four" I said, some of the big men at the meeting rolled their eyes but agreed surprisingly, I was told later on by my uncles secretary that the big wigs at MCA and A&R liked the idea of a fourth member, "Monday Zaria Monday is the day." That was the last day I had spoken to him and today was Monday.
But I was growing closer and closer to Jeri each day and when I hung out with his daughter and his aunt I felt like we were family so I couldn't, no I refused to let him down and placed in the back like all the other hopefuls, at least let him pass first out of respect.
Mary was also getting distant, I had been noticing that she seemed to be getting more quieter every time I saw her, which was starting to get rare because it seemed like she was never there. I didn't know about her past but I started to hint that she had been using drugs or what not to mask something, a few weeks back before Jeri was shot I walked in on Mary doing a line of coke in the bathroom at the studio we were working at.
As soon as I saw it I rushed out and pretended like I ain't see shit because it's none of my damn business and that's final.
Shit, but me and Rollo I don know about our relationship, it seems like it's on a downward spiral, ever since we started the album. It's one thing to be business like and be serious that's understandable, but when you don't have no regard for people it makes me question my motives of still trying to be friends with you, I don't fuck with disloyalty.
"Hey" Jeri's aunt walked in the room sluggish and looking tired, "Baby how long you been here?" She questioned trying to bring some sort of energy to her voice but it came out dull and exhausted.
"Ms. Goldie you alright?"I asked as I got up to help her with grocery bags she had brought along with her.
"Baby don't worry about me I've been out all day, but shouldn't you be in the studio continuing your album?" I looked at her, and towards Jeri's almost lifeless body.
"What's going on?" She sat down next to me.
"The people at the label are trying to replace Jeri-"
"Well I guessed that I would be lying if I'd say that I wouldn't try and find a new person for your group."
"But-but I feel so wrong, they're rushing it like he's not even in the grave hell hes still on life support, I just feel disrespected."
I looked at her for a moment and back towards Jeri, "today was the day I was supposed to be at the studio to pick his replacement but I decided to stay here all day and hide out." I'd been here for nearly thirteen hours and yet I haven't gotten a call or page so I assumed they just continued without me which made my heart drop more.
"Listen." Ms. Goldie said beckoning my attention, "I know you don't want to hear this right now but, you have to move on, Jeri will be here, we don't even know if he's going to go, but if he does go you will need to make a choice, to do this for him, and not waste your time." Tears started to fall from my face into my hands.
"You can't hold yourself back, not for anyone."
Announcement: After this first book of my 90s series is finished I want to start an Aaliyah alternate universe book about what If Aaliyah had lived told in third person. So I will try and finish this thing before august.
