It's 1990 and 17 year old Zaria is on her way to college, she dreams of becoming a rapper thats on top of the world. Watch her date and strike up friendships some of the most famous and legendary artists like tupac, biggie, brandy, the wayans, and m...
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"Girl I must warn you" -poison Bell Biv Devoe
Zaria August 1990
I sat on the toilet in the bathroom looking down at the small white stick in my trembling hands, two lines, one dark pink and the other one a faded pink. No matter how many times I tried another test they all came out the exact same, two pink lines, no mistakes, no slip ups, all came out identical. I sat there dumbfounded. Was I this stupid to let this happen to me when I had promised myself that it wasn't going to? unplanned pregnancies ruin dreams I knew that and yet I never seem to listen to my conscience, I always go along with the now never seeming to think about the consequences, I hate to say that this was a huge mistake that needed to be fixed but it was to true for me.
What would my parents do if they found out that I was Pregnant, surely mom would kick me out, my career could be over in the snap of a finger, ain't no such thing as a pregnant rapper in the start of her career, right now is my time and as a female pregnancies halt things, it's different for men they don't have to stop anything to cater to a child they just don't. Right now I sat in the basement bathroom, a million things running in and out of my mind, even though I knew I was pregnant I had to know for sure, I had already told Rollo about it, and I had already made my entire decision about what was going to happen. I'm just going to have to abort the pregnancy. I felt so very bad and sad, and selfish at the same time, I loved children and as a girl I wanted a baby so very bad, I played with my baby brother as if he was my child taking care of him when my mother took night classes, but I couldn't have possibly fed a child I had no job, no real skills besides writing, and even if Lamont did get drafted into the NBA or NFL, I needed my own path, and I had to create it for myself.
I got up off of the toilet and put the last test and its box into a white garbage bag and tied it up. I knew exactly where I needed to go and who I needed to talk too. Mary. I went upstairs carrying the bag into the empty Kitchen, my mother and Grey were at work and my brother at camp so there would be no interruptions from prying eyes and ears who like listening in in my calls. I dialed the first place I thought she might be her home in the projects. When she didn't answer there I called her pager number and left her a message. After doing that I went outside in the pouring rain and discarded the bag into a trash bin on the curb, I didn't need my parents finding anything and grilling me on it.
When I got back inside the phone began to rang. "Hey you called what's up" I heard Mary say on the other line, "hey I need to talk to you where you at, it's real real serious?" I asked her my voice kind of shaky the signs of my stress and anxiety seeping out. The reality of my situation hadn't really hit me until today and I was scared now very very scared. "Um I'm at the studio working on backing vocals come the address is xxx Hudson St. it's near Greenwich village in Lower Manhattan, I'll wait for you outside". After she said that I hung up and got ready quickly, I put on a simple white t shirt with camo cargo pants a trucker cap some sunglasses but no raincoat, stupid of me right get pneumonia and be pregnant why don't you, I headed out the door down to my truck.
