• Part 24 •

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"When I said I was taking the day off of school I was hoping to spend my time more productively," Naruto grumbled as a man took his measurements.

Shikamaru shrugged from his bed as he continued to read the handbook. "You don't have anything to wear so I'm going to order you something. I think that qualifies as productive. If we get it done now then they can be here by tonight."

"Isn't this something that should have been done weeks in advance?" He asked as the other man wrote down the final sizes.

"I thought about it, but then taking a nap sounded much more enjoyable."

"You're unbelievable," he scoffed jokingly as he pulled the theater textbook from his bag.

"Well, I have some last minute things to take care of. People are going to be running around to try and get ready so I'm sure you won't be missed too much. Good luck with your search." And with that he got up from the bed and exited the room with the tailor following behind him.

Naruto leaned back into the bed with an aggravated sigh as he stared at the cover for a few more minutes. He had to constantly remind himself that it was a good thing that he was staying in. Without a partner for the ball there was no reason to practice his waltz, theater would be awkward with Sakura there, and he didn't have the courage to face Hinata, Neji, or Sasuke after what had happened. Everything seemed to be leading up to this dance from the beginning, and he knew that he couldn't back out now. This monologue had been defeating him ever since he found out that he was a part of the performances. If he needed to commit to anything out of this entire disaster, this was it.

He closed his eyes before he opened up the textbook to try and clear his thoughts. There was a message that had to be conveyed. With this, he needed to say something to everyone, but what? Should he apologize for the way that everything had turned out? No. He shook his head as he glanced back down at the cover. He was tired of apologizing, and even more tired of never understanding. If something was going to be said, he had to mean it with every fiber of his being. Wow, that's dramatic. I guess I really am an actor.

It was Sasuke he needed to talk to. He owed him that much. When he turned away from him Naruto was left with so many questions that he was unable to function correctly. These questions were what burned in the back of his mind and made him react in strange ways when the other boy was around, but it was his fault that he never got any of the answers. This whole time he was working so hard on pushing the Uchiha away while unknowingly becoming so much closer to him.

Then there was Itachi. Just thinking about the older brother made him shudder. How could someone in such a position be that altruistic? He wanted things to go well for Sasuke, even if what he did to ensure that was erroneous, and he was willing to hand himself over to a total stranger to make that happen. What if he did choose to be with Itachi? The older man sounded like he was willing to make a conscious effort to make it work, and perhaps even develop feelings for him if possible. He would give Naruto anything he wanted, and in exchange Sasuke's love for him would be negated and the engagement would no longer be threatened.

Is that really what I want? Sasuke wouldn't have to lose anything important to him if he married Hinata, and she wouldn't have to take over a company that she was incapable of leading.

"Think," he urged himself as he lightly tapped the book against his forehead. He opened the book and flipped through the pages until he came across a familiar monologue that he had skimmed a couple of times. He tried to picture himself as the character, Thomas, as he looked over the last lines of the monologue.

"'Love. Noun. A feeling of strong attachment induced by that which delights or commands admiration; preeminent kindness or devotion to another; affection; tenderness.' Whatever you do in your life, do it with love." He paused with a slight frown as he whispered the last line. "After everything that's happened, I don't know if that's such good advice."

He shut the book as he exhaled deeply through his nose. That wasn't quite it. Strong attachment, eh? As his heart began to increase slightly with a temperate beat he leaned back and enjoyed the gentle pulse that resonated through his body. He typically would try and reject the bothersome sound, but when he actually took the time to listen, it painted a lovely picture in his mind. It was not anything in particular; it was just a variety of colors that danced across the darkness in his vision and faded slowly into one another with each beat of his heart. Seeing it now, it was rather pleasant.

He didn't want to reject anything anymore.

"Because some things are more important."

"I couldn't have said it better myself," he spoke into the emptiness as he looked down at the book again. He had to try and forget again. Forget about what everyone else wanted and focus on what he wanted. He had done a fine job of neglecting those desires from the beginning, and he began to suspect that it was a big part of the problem.

Even though it was Sasuke who had walked away it was Naruto who had turned his back to him. He refused to engage himself and, in turn, pushed the other boy away at such an important moment. I wonder what that made him feel... At one point he remembered wanting that from Sasuke, wanting him to acknowledge him and open up to him so that he would be able to be a source of comfort to him. But when that time came he was completely unprepared.

"I'm not used to operating like this," he admitted to the textbook with a sullen gaze. Maybe that's one thing that he had to address. The reason he acted so irrationally at times was because he had never faced situations like these before. Hell, the thing that made him the most nervous about coming to Konoha was that he felt like he would be out of touch with his peers. They knew nothing about wanting, needing while he had spent his time missing school and conversing with complete strangers.

He had never had anyone do something for him because they wanted to like Sakura did. No one had ever gone out of their way to be his friend like Shikamaru. Nobody could make him laugh like Kiba or Lee could. He had never met someone as docile yet still caring as Hinata was. Neji was the first person he had ever had a deep admiration for. He never thought that someone would put their faith in him and offer him a new life like Kakashi did.

... And he never dreamed that anyone could ever love someone like him.

A light thud was heard as he brought the book to his head softly with a groan. He was used to feeling sad and alone, but was happy to find that these people gave him the chance to smile and hope for a better tomorrow. He owed it to them to try and make it that way. There was no time to doubt himself anymore.

How many hours had passed since Shikamaru left?

He flipped through the pages with a much more determined gaze before he stopped on a page that he must have skipped over before because he had never seen this monologue before. He read it over in his mind, frowning, smiling, and feeling his heart beat faster as he read on. This is it...

This was what he needed to say. He sat up straight as he put the book on the floor before him and began to read through the lines repeatedly. His suit wasn't there yet, he had no escort, and he had 24 hours to memorize and perfect his new monologue.

I got this.

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