Popular and Suicidal

Dancing On the Edge

This whole thing will be from Gerard's    POV and is basically an entire trigger warning.

--

I walked slowly up the cliff, I was getting bored of just laying in bed and staring at the ceiling or hours on end. I heard the waves crash into the rocks beneath, I was nearing the end of the walk. I got to almost half way to the edge when I saw a figure sitting there.

That's odd, no one is usually up at 3am especially on a school/work day just to sit and stare at the sea. I walked closer and noticed the figure was holding something shiny, in the dim moonlight I realized it was a razor blade, gliding across the skin and breaking it. I could barely make out the crimson liquid bead up at the touch of the cool metal.

He turned and put a note down under a rock and put the blade next to it, oh my god he was going to jump. Adrenaline coursed through me as I rushed to the cliff as he began to stand up, I was close as the shorter boy started to drop, I caught him just in time.

I didn't know how long I could hold him but I held him close and started to drag him away from the angry sea. He was flailing but I held him steady and pulled him as far back as I could so only the end of his feet were close to the edge of the cliff.

"What the hell?" He asked in anger, "I should be saying the same, why are you trying to take your life?" The boy looked about my age from the full moonlight, "Because I can! You don't know about my life!" I nodded and pulled him up with the little strength I had.

"Then tell me." I said simply, I barely knew the kid but I wasn't about to let him take his life away, I hated the thought of suicide, I had reasons.

"I barley know you!" He snapped, "Right, my name's Gerard Way who are you?" I extended my hand and he shook it uncertainly before responding, "Frank, what are you doing out here? It's the middle of the night."
"What are you doing here, it's early in the morning." I emphasized the 'you'.

"What do you think?" He asked sarcastically, i I shrugged, fair enough, "I have insomnia and I usually walk up here when I can't sleep, the waves relax me." I explained, "Oh, that sucks... I was trying to, ya know.." he gestured to the edge of the cliff and the note and sighed.

"Why?" I asked curiously, "Again, I don't really know you." I shrugged and took his hand, "Come walk with me and we can talk." He followed but then stared at his wrists, "Here," I gave him the jacket I had tied around my waist, it fit him well as it was just my size and he was only shorter than me by a couple inches.

I took his hand again and started walking down the cliff to the small city below it, "So tell me Frank, why were you about to jump off that cliff?" He shrugged, "I already told you, cuz I can."
"Yes, but you also said I didn't know your life, so tell me about it."

He looked at me in confusion, "Why do you even want to know?" I didn't know myself but I'd just saved this guy so I may as well know why I had to do that, "Because I saved you." I told him, his eyes were clouded with emotion but also the sky was clouded so it was hard to tell.

"I... I just needed to escape, I needed to get out of the house, I just want to fade into the sky under the sea. But I knew that if I left I didn't want to go back home so I decided I wouldn't, ever." I nodded understandingly, "I know the feeling sometimes." I commented, he looked up at me with sympathy, "I don't need your sympathy, I'm past that." I tried to keep the anger from my voice, I hated talking about the past.

"Sorry, it's just you want to know about me and I want to know about you now." I cast a glance at him, "What school do you go to?"
"Why?" He asked suspiciously, "I'm a senior at Redwood High." I said in exasperation, "Hm, me too." He shrugged, "Okay, let's talk sometime, learn about each other and talk about you know, things." He nodded, "Okay, well, I'll walk you home so you don't go back to the cliff."

He nodded and led me to his home, it was an expensive looking place, this was the rich part of the city, "What are you doing at Redwood if you could go to private school?" I asked, judging by the house his family must be rich, "I dunno, I wanted to go and have a normal high school experience and not be babied by another rich boy school." He took off the jacket and handed it to me, "I'll see you tomorrow around lunch, I'll be at the left corner." He said and walked to the back of the building, I heard a door shut quietly and I left.

Nearing the cliff, I pulled the jacket on. I glanced at my phone for the time, 4:39, I wasn't getting any sleep tonight, not that I wasn't used to that. I found the blade and note and put them in my pocket before heading home.

I hummed as I took the short way home, knowing I'd have just enough time to do my routine before my parents woke up. I didn't need them yelling at me that I didn't sleep again, I was too anxious for that to happen.

I got home and thankfully got to do what I needed before they woke up, including showering and changing into clean clothes. I got some food since I had two hours before I needed to be up. I sat on my bed with a hoodie on, staring at my phone and waiting for it to be time for me to get up.

I remembered suddenly shut the blade and note, I could learn a lot about him from reading it, I considered it. Getting up, I moved to the bathroom and searched through my pockets to find the blade and note. All there was were a few strings of words on it, 'Have you heard the news that I'm dead? No one really had much nice to say I think they never liked me anyways you'll carry on.' Was he a songwriter, they seemed like lyrics to me.

I stared at the blade, old thoughts creeping into my tired mind, I slipped the blade under my mattress guiltily. I didn't want to but I just had the sudden urge and I couldn't stop myself.

I waited until 7:00 to get up, I made myself breakfast as the small snack I'd had was two hours ago. I made pancakes for my whole family though I doubted they'd eat with me, only grab some and rush to work.

My mother came down first, dressed in her work attire, dress pants and a blouse, and smiled at the smell of the food, "Thank you." She said politely and took three, putting peanut butter on two of them and eating the third while she did that. She left without another word or a glance at me.

My father had gone already, he was a surgeon and left around 5:30, right after I got back. I realized that that was all in my family and sighed, I dished myself up some pancakes and put some butter and syrup on them, better do it properly.

I sat down and ate, I didn't eat a lot, I was small but I knew gaining weight wouldn't do any harm but I didn't like cooking a lot and I was saving up my money from my part-time job to move out and buy a car.

I finished and decided I had enough time to walk to school, the bus sucked and I hated everyone in this school. There were cliques and everyone bullied me but I tried not to let it get to me, I knew I was the outcast but I didn't care really, I was over it. The past was far behind me.

I came up to the school five minutes before the first bell. I slowly walking in with my head down, avoiding all eye contact and just trying to get to my locker without being noticed.

The only time I looked up was when I noticed Oli, surrounded by girls popular and unpopular. The conversation he promised would be interesting, this boy who thought he could fly.