Book I: Burnt Bliss [BoyxBoy]

Chapter 6: Power Play

"What is this..." he leaned in and squinted, curious.

He sank into his father's chair and put the book aside. He carefully slid the page from under various other items. It was a calendar with a fresh sheath of paper. Within these pages, he was horrified to find an agenda for his own life spread out neatly before him.

His parents had dates listed for when he'd do more and more in their business and when they'd set meetings with Sarah, spanned over the next few months. Later pages revealed a list of tentative goals without a date set.

They had already decided on almost every major life decision that would be part of his future. His engagement to Sarah should last at least eight months and they were anticipating they would get married within the next two years.

It got worse: Later pages revealed they expected he would take a prominent place in their business by the time he was eighteen and even noted the importance of him 'producing an heir' for his family.

His eyes and mind blurred as the gravity of the situation surged forth. His heart began to pound, and he suddenly felt like he was gasping for air.

He leapt from the desk in a panic, quickly shuffling the papers back on the desk. He grabbed the book and rushed out of the room, unable to process what he'd seen.

He bolted to the living room, breathing heavily and looking about anxiously. As he entered, the book slid from his hands and fell to the hardwood floor with a loud thump. He grabbed it and scurried over to his father.

"I--I don't feel well. Would you please excuse me?" he begged with pleading eyes.

"Very well. But I expect to continue later." he said with a serious nod.

"Thank you." Will breathed and made a beeline for the door.

He dashed up the stairs as fast as he could, rapid heartbeats straining his chest.

Back in his room, Will ran to his desk and grabbed his journal as terrified tears misted his eyes. His hands were shaking with a mix of resentment, fear and disappointment so strongly that he could barely read what he was writing. It flew from his hand as fast as the words came to mind. He was desolate:

I have just wit-nessed a schedule for my entire life. My parents have been kepeing a time-table for me concerning their business, courting Sarah, getting married, everything! I am shocked and hurt. I knew they had plans, we've discussed it here and there, but they want to make all those choices for me? Doesn't anything I have to say about my own life matter? As I saw what they wanted for my life, I became so horrified I was de-tached from it completely. Am I supposed to trudge on-wards in the steps they have placed out for me? Is there no way to break from their restraint? Why should I bother even living if all of my choices are made for me and my voice shall never be heard nor will my own needs and wants be met?

Will paused. He'd startled himself. His chair creaked as he sat back in a daze.

Had he just considered dying to escape the life which was set for him?

He had to ask himself: was he desperate enough to give up permanently?

No, he wouldn't give up. Not if he could change his own life. He wrote on, clinging to the one place he could be himself:

Yet, if I choose to not live, they win. Besides, losing my free will shouldn't be answered by losing my life. Why waste my life when I'm perfectly able to live a better one in my own way? This may be what they want for my life, but that doesn't mean I have to follow it. Why should I live based on their wants and needs, and not my own?