It's an F'ed Up World and It's No Two-Player Game ~ Boyf rieds (Be More Chill)

It's No Two-Player Game, So When They Make an Attack

AN- As for the vote thing I put up earlier, I've decided (since everything was almost 50/50) I'm just gonna do both AUs! Just remember nothing is set in stone, so while that probably won't change, it might.

~

I gasp and sit bolt upright in bed. I look around and think:

Did that really just happen?

"Hello?" I tap on my head. "Are you on? Hellooo???"

"Jeremy?" My dad calls. "Are you talking to yourself?"

"I... Guess I am. Huh." I shrug and reach for my computer, which is still slow.

C'mon... c'mon, go-

A shock of pain stabs me. "OW!"

What did we say about masturbation?

I was just going to... check my email.

You can't lie to me, Jeremy. I'm inside your brain. We're going to devise a system. I tally every time you think about sex, and that's how many push-ups you do. If this morning is an indicative sample, you'll have pecs in no time.

My dad walks in.

"Coming through, private."

That's the source of your genetic material?

That's my dad, yeah.

We should double those push-ups.

I step outside and am immediately hit with a gust of cold air.

Was it such a good idea to wear this Eminem shirt?

The benefits of wearing this shirt outweigh your slight chill. Now get on the bus.

"Yo, tall-ass," Rich approaches me the second I step on the vehicle. "Where's my money?"

Crap, what do I tell Rich?

Up, up, down, down, left, right, A.

Rich flinches and blinks rapidly several times.

"You got one!"

"Yeah. Sorry, I meant to go through you but- Don't hit me!"

"Jeremy! This is awesome! I mean, I coulda used the money. Things are kinda rough at home if you know what I'm sayin'..."

Yeah,

"Yeah," I nod my head.

My dad,

"My dad..."

Drinks, too.

"Drinks, too...?"

Where did that come from?

Rich grins. "Yo, fucking dads, right?! He usually passes out by nine. You should come over, play X-box. You know with a squip, the only controller you need... is your mind."

He walks away, leaving me alone.

What was that about?

I synced with his squip. Now his desires are compatible with your own.

And that makes him act like we're friends?

What is a friendship but a bond between two people? Now you and Rich have a bond. It's just digital. Now get ready to more than survive.

More than survive... right. I mean, all in all, it's been a not too heinous day.

The bus rolls to a stop and everyone rushes to get out. The second my feet his the sidewalk the squip speaks up.