It's an F'ed Up World and It's No Two-Player Game ~ Boyf rieds (Be More Chill)

Find the Bad Guy and Hold Him to Your Side

AN- this is going to be really similar to the play for a little bit, but trust me I'm gonna change stuff up. also, this is gonna be a little gayer :)

"C'mon, C'mon, go go... C'mon, C'mon, go go..."

I wait for my porno to load, and I feel like my brain is going to explode. I glance over at the clock and groan. Of course, now it's time to leave so now I'll be uncomfortable all day, but that really isn't that much of a change. If I'm not feeling super strange or really weird, my life would be in utter disarray because freaking out is what I call "okay".

"Good morning..." I mumble to myself and bolt to the bathroom. I glance at myself in the mirror and lift up my shirt, checking for muscles. Suddenly:

"DAD! Haven't you heard of privacy?"

"We're all men in this house. Just pretend we're in the army."

"Just.. when I get home... please have pants on. Okay?"

"Ten-hut,"

I head outside and begin debating whether I should take the bus or walk. I feel my stomach filling up with dread, and my whole face goes red when I'm nervous.

"Dude," I tell myself. "Weigh the options calmly and be still."

I know a junior on the bus is super weak, but if I walk then I'm going to straight up reek. My pits will leak and my boxers will be bunchy. I just wish I had the skill to just be fine and cool and more chill.

I decide to get on the bus.

I mean, I don't really want to be a hero, I just want to stay in the line. I know I'll never be a Rob Deniro, and for me, Joe Pesci is just fine. I make up my own rules and use them as some sort of tools to simply stay alive. I don't wanna be special; I just wanna survive.

I get off the bus and step into the school, the others buzzing around. I go to my locker where Chole and Brooke are talking with Jenna Rolan trying to wedge her way into the conversation.

"So Jenna Rolan said Madeline was all, "I'll only have sex with you if you beat me at pool." And then she lost at pool. Deliberately!"

"That is so awesome."

"Brooke!"

"I mean slutty!"

Jenna faces Brooke and says, "And then Madeline was all-"

Chloe cuts her off. "I'm telling this story, Jenna!"

Chloe turns around only to notice me and then steer the others away while whispering, "Oh my god, he was like, getting off on that..."

I immediately run into Rich.

"Yo, don't touch me, tall-ass!"

"Sorry, I was just... trying to get to my-"

He shoves my against a locker and writes something on my backpack.

"You wash that off, you're dead." He turns his attention to someone else. "Jakey D! What's the story with Madeline?"

"I should say," Jake says, beat. "But it's a good thing I rock at pool."

They walk off together and I begin to navigate the dangerous hall, focusing on a poster on the wall, avoiding any eye contact, trying hard to remain unseen. The posters closer now, and I can read what it says. It's a sign-up sheet for the after school play. Did I say play? I meant getting called gay. That's not what I need right now. I hang a left and there's-

"Michael!"

"Jeremy, how's it hanging? I had my negimaki, got my slushy, and the girl at Seven Eleven gave me extra."