Empathy [Josh Dun - Twenty One Pilots]

THIRTY FIVE

"Mom," Ethan replied with a softness to his voice Josh hadn't heard in a while, "you know I can't get out, right?"

The lady scoffed, her eyes finally moving away from the tv to land on her son's ankle. That's when Josh realized the black electronic device attached to it, a green dot pulsating from its side every second or so. 

"I fucking know that!" Mrs. Crawford continued as if Josh wasn't witnessing her abuse. "And trust me, I wish it was different. But I fucking knew you would amount to nothing, just like your fath- FUCK!" The woman suddenly sat up straighter in her couch, knocking her ashtray over and started coughing as if death was waiting for her in a corner of the room, the ashes of her numerous previously smoked cigarette spreading around her in a puff. 

She continued mumbling to herself, getting rid of the leftover ashes on her nightgown with a swift movement of the hand. A new cigarette was dangling from her mouth, and the view of such a mess was sort of hypnotizing to Josh. He just stood there, unable to get his eyes off her, until Ethan grabbed him by the arm, pulling him towards the stairs. Josh followed suit, unsure of what was going on anymore. He felt like a stranger in his own body, unable to come to terms with the desperation that surrounded him.

When Ethan reached his room, weirdly cleaner than anything Josh had seen in the house so far, he plopped down on the bed - a simple mattress in the corner, covered with what used to be white sheets - setting his head on both of his hands, as if hiding his eyes could make this all disappear. 

"I'm sorry you had to see that," he whispered, "she's not usually that bad."

Josh didn't respond, firstly because he didn't know how to, but also because he was starting to feel some kind of pity towards Ethan, and that was the last thing he wanted to feel when thinking about him. He had caused so much hurt around him, so much pain. He had meddled with drugs, gotten involved with some kind of a gang, got his "friend" kidnapped and almost killed. He didn't deserve any kind of pity. 

Josh sighed, approaching the window as Ethan was still immobile on his mattress. The backyard looked just as wild as the front. If anything, the grass there was growing even taller, and Josh was almost sure it would reach his waist if only he dared to step into it. From downstairs, Josh could hear the echo of laughter from Mrs. Crawford, but somehow it sounded sadder than anything he had ever heard, and he wondered what could have gotten her in that situation. 

"How long has this been going on?" Josh asked. 

Ethan shrugged. There was no need to wonder what "this" meant, because he knew pretty well what Josh was referring to. "Since dad left, I guess."

Josh turned away from the window to face the boy miserably sitting on the old mattress. "But that was years ago, man."

Ethan looked up, not even saying a word. He let a few seconds pass before asking again the reason behind Josh's surprise visit. "Pretty sure you're not here to wish me a happy birthday, right?" he smiled sadly, and Josh felt a pang in his chest. He had completely forgotten it was his birthday today.

He looked down, trying not to let the guilt invade his chest. It's not like he had any reason to want to wish him a happy birthday, right? Ethan had been nothing but horrible to him for the past few years... but then again, Josh had no idea of what was going on in his life. He hadn't even asked. He hadn't even cared. He was so absorbed by his own navel, so caught up in his own little misery, that he had put his own best friend aside. No wonder the boy held a grudge. He was supposed to be his best friend, for God's sake. And like they say, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Josh certainly wasn't in a position to do that.

Slowly, he approached the mattress and sat down. "You're on house arrest?" he asked rhetorically, gazing at the device slowly beeping on Ethan's ankle like some weird kind of fashion accessory that held him prisoner. 

"Twenty-four months. Eighteen if I behave well."

"It's not too bad, is it? I mean, considering..."

Ethan scoffed, looking down at the ground. "Trust me, Josh, I'd rather spend ten years at the Youth Detention Center. Locking me up with her was the best punishment for me."

As if on cue, the piercing voice of Mrs. Crawford resonated through the thin walls, calling for her son to make her dinner. Ethan sighed, closing his eyes for a few seconds, before he got to his feet, extending a hand towards Josh. The boy hesitated, looked at it as if it was an alien gesture, then finally grabbed it to stand up as well. 

"Listen," Ethan said as he walked towards the stairs, "I know words will never erase what I did." He stopped at the first step, looking to Josh behind him, his eyes glazing. "But I learned my lesson, you know? And uh-" He looked up, trying not to blink away his tears, "I'm really sorry, Josh."

His voice faltered at the last word before he hurtled down the stairs as if fleeing from something he couldn't see. When Josh joined him downstairs, the front door was already open, and Ethan was waiting by the side. 

"You better go," he whispered, "she's even worse when she's-"

"Ethan, for fuck sake! Get over here before I call the police and tell 'em you assaulted me! They wouldn't even be surprised!"

"I'm coming, mom!" Ethan yelled before turning towards Josh one last time. He opened his mouth hesitantly, then closed it as Josh stepped out. He was already reaching the car when Ethan called him.

"I won't dare to ask you to come by, because I'm not sure you'd want to and you have every right to avoid me..." he said, looking at the ground in front of him almost longingly, "but if you ever find yourself in the neighborhood... I'll be here. I'm not moving."

Josh suppressed a chuckle at Ethan's grin and nodded, looking as the door closed behind him. Suddenly feeling really tired, Josh went around the car, opening the door to plop down behind the wheel. As he started the engine, he looked one last time at the dirty windows, blinking a few times. He could have sworn Ethan's silhouette was waving at him behind the curtains. 

"I'm sorry," Josh murmured as he drove away, his heart tingling in his chest. 

|-/|-/|-/

Your thoughts on Ethan's situation? Would you forgive him?

Also, are you ready for the last chapter? You can hopefully, sadly, expect it for next weekend. 

Thank you so much for your support, it truly means a lot ♥.