Empathy [Josh Dun - Twenty One Pilots]

ØNE

"Joshua! Come on, you're gonna be late again!"

The soft voice of Josh's mom came from downstairs as he was, again, glaring at his reflection in the mirror. The boy sighed at his own looks. He used to be quite the charm, not so long ago, making all the girls flail at his sight. Now, he was just the shadow of himself. He was floating in his skinny jeans, and the bold and bright pink of his hair had now faded to a more natural color.

"JOSHUA!"

Josh flinched, taking one last look in the mirror, his shoulders dropping down at the desperate sight, then left his room. When he had woken up, an hour earlier, he'd had that weird feeling of a dream he couldn't quite remember, and the feeling hadn't left yet. That, in addition to the compulsive fear he had of school, made him look even more hopeless when he sat down in the passenger seat of the car.

Twenty minutes later, his mom pulled over in front of the dreaded school and sighed. Josh perfectly knew what that meant. She wanted to talk to him, but for some reason, he couldn't turn his head to look at her. So instead, he looked right ahead, his hand on the handle. He could have stayed like that for hours, enduring his mother's gaze and sighs, if it meant he didn't have to go to school.

"I talked to the school's counselor, Josh. We can go meet him after school tomorrow to talk about homeschooling..."

Josh's heart skipped a beat, not so much at his mother's words, but at the dark boy slowly walking towards the school entrance. The new boy. The sad boy. And suddenly, Josh knew that he was, somehow, involved in that dream he had last night. He furrowed his brows, keeping his eyes on the guy whose name he didn't even know.

"Joshua?"

Surprised at the sound of his mother's voice - he had almost forgotten he was still in the car-, Josh turned his head too quickly to briefly look at her, but when he peaked through the window again, the boy was nowhere to be found. As much as he didn't want to follow him because it meant going to school - which he hated - he felt weirdly attracted to him. Not attracted "sexually", no. He knew perfectly well that he liked girls. It was more of a physical attraction. Like he was being pulled towards him by an imaginary rope.

"Uhm...," Josh started, turning his head slightly towards his mom, staring at a spot behind her, "About that... I'm not sure I want to go through with it..."

The words burned his tongue and lips as he was now staring into his own hands. Oh, he desperately wanted to be homeschooled, but that boy... He had something. Josh didn't know what it was yet, but the feeling inside him was so strange yet so... soothing? Weirdly, he was the saddest-looking person Josh had ever laid eyes on, and that made him think that maybe he could help him. And even though that was just an idea, he couldn't pass on a chance - as tiny as it was - to heal his weird condition.

"Are you sure about that? You've been begging me for months and now you-"

"Well, yeah... There's just a few months left of school anyway, right? I can do it." Josh anwered, trying to direct all the conviction and confidence his body was capable of producing out into his voice.

His mother just sighed, and Josh couldn't help but feel guilty about all of this. For the past year, Josh hadn't been the son his mother knew about. He had changed, he knew it and he had done the best he could to be nice and caring towards her, but somedays were just harder than others. His mom probably excused that attitude thinking it was just puberty, but the boy knew it wasn't. Although he still didn't really know what it was exactly.

"Josh, sweetheart... Look at me..."

Her voice was so soft, nearly begging. Josh couldn't refuse her a look into her own son's eyes. Gathering all the strength he still had, he slowly turned his head and plunged his eyes into his mother's. They were green, and beautiful, and Josh tried to remember the last time he saw them. But he couldn't. His mom reached out her hand towards his face, slowly caressing his cheek, and as her eyes were watering, Josh started to feel that itching pain in his heart.

"What's the matter, love? Please, talk to me..."

Josh's heart started to burn, yet he couldn't look away. He had missed his mom's eyes, and now they were crying because of him. Anger started to fill his mind, while his heart was trying to handle the double amount of sadness his mom was unknowingly pouring out to him. And suddenly, Josh wanted to be anywhere but here. Even school seemed better than a pool of his mother's pain.

"Mom...," he started, his voice no higher than a murmur, "I'm gonna be late. I'll see you after school, okay? Don't... don't worry about me, I'm fine."

His mom slowly backed her hand away to wipe her tear and sighed, helpless to her own son. The boy was out of the car and nearly on his way to the entrance when she called out to him once more.

"Josh? I love you..." she said, trying to prevent her voice from trembling. And in a whisper and a wave, he replied.

"I love you too, mom."

As the car was disappearing on the corner of the street, Josh turned to face the school and started walking, rubbing his eyes to wipe away the tears. He couldn't be seen crying. That would be the end of him. He was approaching his locker when an agressive male voice called him out.

"What's up, fag? Didn't get a hug from mommy this morning?"

Josh tried to ignore his ex-best friend's comment while picking out the books he would need for the day, but Ethan wasn't one to give up so easily. His hands pushed Josh, making him land face first on the locker door he had just closed. His mouth distorted by the cold surface, the boy could barely breathe, and he closed his eyes, waiting for a punch or something that would put an end to the agression, but instead, a feminine voice resonated, smothered by the bell ringing in the hallways.

"Ethan! Let him go."

The hand that was pressing Josh's head finally disappeared, and another one, softer, came to take its place.

"Josh, are you okay?"

The touch of her fingers on his skin sent shivers down Josh's spine, and he wished he could have felt that without the crushing pain that emprisoned his heart whenever she was around. Now, both of her hands were on his cheeks and Josh couldn't take it anymore. Abruptly, he took them away and started his way down the hallway to his classroom. But the girl was not giving up, and she followed suit, almost running to make up for Josh's big steps.

"Josh, why are you pushing me away when I'm trying to h-" she started, but was cut off when Josh stopped walking.

"I don't know, Debby." He spat. His anger and sadness had now been combined and were going out full force. "Oh, wait, maybe because you broke up with me?"

Debby's mouth dropped, just like her hands that were about to grasp Josh's arm. She felt hurt, but certainly not as much as Josh was, he thought. Because Josh was feeling a thousand men's pain.

"You decided this, Debby. Now just let me go."

And with that, he rushed away. As he sat down in his first class of the day, Josh thought that maybe, just maybe, it would be best if he was homeschooled.

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I couldn't really find a girl's name so I just gave up and called her Debby. Do you think it's annoying? Would another name be better or is it fine like that? I don't know, it bugged me at first but maybe that's okay?

Hope you still like this one!