Leah and Trent

Chapter Nineteen

November 6 2016 - Sunday

~

Leonard

(Song: Lost by BTS)

Life was filled with moments. Good moments. Bad moments. And then there were moments when all future moments rested on one single decision. Those moments typically came unexpectedly. At least, it did for me. I was coming towards a crossroad without really having a destination in mind. All I knew was who I wanted to be with and who I didn't want to leave behind. But like everybody else, I couldn't have everything at once.

Most Sundays I hung out at Timothy's house. We usually just played video games. Timothy had an ungodly collection of video games both in quantity and quality. He had a very specific taste in video games, which meant he owned the most gruesome games I had ever seen.

"D*** it. Die you little f***er," Timothy yelled. He was heavily into the game, gripping his controller and sitting on the edge of the couch. I wasn't as much of a gamer as I was in the past, but even then, I didn't have half of Timothy's intensity. "Step it up, man. If you get me killed, I'll kick your a**." I was more focused on my crippling thoughts than destroying strange creatures.

"What do you know about Japan?" I asked over the sound of gunfire and explosions.

"I don't see what your question has to do with the task at hand," Timothy said with his eyes fixed on the TV.

"It has nothing to do with the game."

"All I know about Japan is anime, rock music, and cute girls."

"You've never wanted to go there?"

"No. Why?"

"No reason. . .Do you think I could make it as an artist?"

"What the f***? Are you having a midlife crisis or something?"

"I'm just asking."

"God, I don't know. I've never actually seen you draw anything- maybe the stuff you draw on your arms during study hall- but that's it."

"But do you-"

"Can we seriously just focus on the game. We're getting our a**es kicked, and there hasn't been a checkpoint in ages." I wondered why I had thought that Timothy would be helpful. He wasn't at all close to being the type of person I could get advice from. He was usually very adamant about not caring about anything.

I knew I couldn't talk to my mother about going to college in Japan with Sharen. She didn't even want me to be dating her. If she found out about me possibly moving to another country with Sharen, my mother could literally lose her mind.

What killed me was that I was really considering leaving Leah. I had practically looked after her ever since she was born. I pretty much took care of her when our parents were wrapped up in their divorce and preferred to argue with each other rather than talk to their own kids. How could I move to a completely different continent and leave her? I didn't even have the slightest idea how I would tell Leah about Japan.

How was I supposed to make an impossible decision? Was this when I had to flip a coin? Pull an option from a hat? I knew that no matter what I'd choose it wouldn't be right. Decisions that had sacrifices on both sides weren't about being right. They were just about making sure you could live down the decision later.

(Song: Drive by Incubus)