All the Space Between Us (A Deathless Series Story)

Episode Fourteen: Stings

"I could have chosen to try a leave any time I wanted to, but I was paralyzed by fear. When someone hurts you and asserts power over you the way that George Cooper did to me, it's like they sucked the soul from you. The fight is gone. The hope is gone. All you have is your body, and you start to wonder... if I can't overcome my fear and leave, does my body even belong to me? Or am I nothing now?"
-Celia Rivera-Guzman

ESTHER

I left. I ran. It was my choice.

But now, as I eat the last of the food I packed—an oatmeal raisin protein bar, my least favorite flavor—I wonder how much I would hate myself if I went back to Hicksmon. My family would be happy. I'd be in trouble for how much worry I caused them or something, but they'd be happy. Milo, though... he's already gone by now. He's already in Petra, starting the next chapter of his life.

I swallow down the last chomp of grainy oatmeal, and push my weight against the tree I'm sitting in front of to stand. Brushing off my pants, I continue west—not back east—toward Hellhole. I've only been gone for two days, and I know I have so many more to go before I'm anywhere near Hellhole. Plus, I don't have a map. Plus, I just ran out of food.

An eerie thought crosses my mind: What if my protest leads me to death? What if I die? Am I willing to die getting to Japan?

The tall, summer grass in the forest bends to create a new path beneath my boots where I've stopped to think this through.

All my life, my understanding of my place in the world has been a fabrication that my family consciously wove. It wasn't just one lie. It was a series of lies, told over and over and over again. If I went back, what would happen? They'd try again to explain themselves. I'd end up forgiving them. Nothing would change. They would continue thinking it's OK to control other peoples' lives as long as it makes life easier for them.

I keep moving west. I am willing to die to honor the truth in life and to fight against the lies.

But I am going to have to start hunting. Good thing Todd (or should I call him Grandpa?) and Daniel taught me how. I tear a thicker branch from one of the low hanging trees as I pass through the forest, and, using my pocket knife, begin whittling it into a spear as I continue to walk westward.

For the past two days, I've been the only traveler through the woods. All I've heard has been the sounds of my footsteps, animals, and wind passing through the leaves. But now, all of a sudden, I hear a second pair of footsteps. Something big, heavy... like a human. Not a squirrel or rabbit or deer. A human.

I whip my head around to try and catch my follower, but all I see is the forest and some pollen dust catching in the light. The grey sky above gives the forest a dull hue. The greens aren't as vibrant, the brown bark seems dusty, the brush looks as though its still withered from last winter.

But I am still alone.

Until the footsteps start again.

I turn again to catch whoever it is, but again, I appear to be the only one in the forest.

So then why do I hear the steps again?

"Who's there?" I yell, fed up and, honestly, a bit scared.

No response. Not even the phantom steps make a sound. I continue on, and I don't hear the steps anymore. Am I imagining things? Have I been out here so long that I'm hallucinating others around me? Either way, I clutch my pocket knife in one hand and the small spear I've whittled in the other.

Then a stick snaps behind me.

I spin around, but I still don't see anything. Not a human, not an animal, not anything but trees and brush. But it can't just be me. I'm not hallucinating.