Accidental Love

Chapter 7

Depression, in Tenten's mind, was the equivalent of rubbing your face in horseshit, but without the smell. Well, with the smell if one did not bother to shower for three days, which was exactly what she had done.

She remembered the good old days when she'd hear fellow kunoichis' mope stories of lost loves and how they would hole themselves inside the equivalent of a cave, watching bad movies whilst binging on junk food and blowing through five boxes of tissues a day. She remembered she would scoff at their hopelessness whilst feeling insanely superior and proud. But in actuality, it turned out she was the hopeless one because they'd gotten through that period when they were early teens, when they were supposed to go through it.

She was going through it now when she was supposed to be a mature adult, along with everyone else her age, who knew how to effectively deal with her love life.

So now, she had been holed inside her apartment for the past three days, dressed in her pyjamas the entirety of that time, watching sad movies, binging on junk food, blowing through five boxes of tissues a day and generally bemoaning her lot in life.

She hadn't seen Neji for a month.

That in and of itself wouldn't be unbearable if not for the fact that he was obviously avoiding her.

Ever since The Kiss, their relationship had changed and not in a good way - not at all.

She'd played their Last Moments together over and over in her mind to the point where she wasn't sure what was real or not anymore. It was like she was listening to a CD and it just happened to start skipping on her favourite song (as things usually turned out), but instead of changing the song she stubbornly listened to the scratching because that song was her favourite and she was unwillingly to move along to the next one.

After Gai had buzzed Neji over the intercom that night, they'd walked out in stock silence - pure, unadulterated awkwardness. For the first time in her life she had been grateful for Gai and Lee's overbearing enthusiasm because she had been too distracted by that to dwell on the fact that Neji only spoke the bare minimum to her the rest of the way home and, other than that, seemed to have forgotten she existed.

Then the very next day after they'd returned to Konoha, he had left on a month-long mission. One, as she had found out later from Hinata, he had specifically requested. Also according to Hinata, he had gone to the Hokage's tower even before he had been home, written out his mission report on the spot, and asked for a month-long mission that was starting immediately; one he could complete alone.

Had it not been for The Kiss, Tenten would not have thought much of this. But that something had changed between them during that kiss was undeniable.

It was exactly what she had feared ever since she realized her feelings for him: he had found out.

How could he not have known after the fervency with which she had kissed him? And especially after the last words she'd said to him.

He'd come to her apartment the night of their return, stiffly informing her that he was leaving on a mission the next morning and wouldn't be around for a while, just so she wouldn't wonder where he was. This action was nothing out of the ordinary. Team Gai always informed each other when they were departing on separate missions. It was courtesy. But there had been a new coldness to his eyes that she hadn't seen him regard her with since they had first become a team.

And then she had said, with the most embarrassing note of desperation in her voice…

"Will you be back for our team dinner? It's tradition."

She had never hated herself more than she had at that moment. She was Tenten, the tough kunoichi weapon's mistress who didn't take crap from anyone and was professional and in control at all times. But at that moment she had morphed into everything that Neji had ever looked down on - hopeless, needy, begging, over-emotional, and in love with him.