Fire In Her Soul (Completed)

BONUS CHAPTER!

Okay so since I've been getting a lot of readers on this book I've decided to add bonus chapter. But this chapter will be a lot longer then the other pages also yes I know, I looked  back at this book and noticed how short they were , or that they didn't make sense in few of the chapters. For that I am truly sorry , and for my mistakes I  will add bonus chapter I don't know how many though but hope you all enjoy it. Again sorry also a little warning this chapter has a little bit of violent scenes and self harms , so be aware of what you'll read.

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PLEASE VIEW THE AUTHORS MESSAGE BEFORE READING..!!!!!!

WARNING READ ON YOU'RE OWN RISK!!!!!!

A may a&
Two months , three days ago since Ryder passed. I've counted the days of which he missed , kept few of his belongings in my room just to have that feeling that he was still with me, and sometimes I would visit his old room in which Mrs Winter, his adopted parents would gladly let me spend few hours sometimes days in his room.

It feels like I just lost him, that he wasn't just killed by some one who I used to love, I was and am still not copping​ with him being gone. Every waking moment I would hope to see him lying next to me , see his jaws twitch whenever he slept, he would wake up to me tracing his muscles , making breakfast with him, god I wanted and thought I would have a life with him and I did but it was so short , I wanted him more , and needed him.

I sat in my old room, because I wasn't fully myself, Sam had taken the role for the leadership in my gang, I couldn't go back there and face their pity, face the memories that I had made when Ryder was still alive,be held with guilt for not telling Ryder of who I truly was. I would spend days and hours held up in my room consumed in guilt. My mother and some others would visit but I could never look in their eyes, cause all I ever see is pity and I don't want or need pity , I needed and wanted Ryder.

Two weeks in my room , two weeks of no interaction with other people. I laid on the bed , crying some more but the tears are all gone. There was a knock on the door and I couldn't care less to answer them , the door opened I didn't look to see who it is , that person sat on my bed " I'm sorry Amaya, I know you're hurting but believe me when I say there's note light at the end of the tunnel for you and I would love and wish to spend more time with you , but I'm leaving , I'll be going back home" there was more she had to say, this was my best friend leaving me like everyone else did, I didn't say anything didn't want her to see that all of these leaving was making me angry , and depressed , I didn't say anything or move , she stood up and sigh then she left once again , I thought maybe that I'll see her again that I'll talk to her when I'm al better but I should've talked to her, I should've stopped her from leaving.

But I didn't, I let her walk away, I didn't get to see her one last time, don't get to say my good bye, guilt and depression, silent cries is all I have , for I have run out of tears. I got up from my bed, swaying, my body so week, my soul is dying , it felt like I have nothing anymore , and I did have nothing. My gang can't bear to look at me without feeling pity,the one person who actually treated me right and loved me for me, the person who ruined my life walked away free and unharmed​.
I didn't​ know where I was going , what I was doing g , all I needed and wanted to do was take away some of the pain, I couldn't handle this pain all on my own every bone in my body felt as if they were falling , turning to dust, I felt like my whole being was dying inside and out. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror , if I did I would break down even more.

I got in the bathroom so destined to avoid the mirror but I got a glimpse of my wrecked self , her hair nothing but mess like her life , her eyes filled with emptiness , my eyes drifts to the razor blades sitting on the sink, clean and unused , I don't remember​ why or when I had gotten it but I couldn't focus on that, I wanted to focus on releasing the pain inside me that was eating me whole. I reached for the blade opened the box weakly , my hands trembling , my body heavy , burnt with pain , I slid against the bathroom door and held the blade against my wrist. Without hesitation , with determination to release the pain I slid it against my akin, opening it as blood pours out, thick layers of blood escaping rapidly. As if fate wanted to save it , a single tear  fell hot against my cheeks falling​ onto the blooded blade , my eyes begin to drop and finally I felt something I hadn't  felt before. I was ready.

"I'm sorry Ryder"

I said one last time only did when my eyes begin to fill with darkness did I hear voice around and inside me

"Stay with me Amaya, you're story hasn't even begun "

A soft feminine voice whispers and finally darkness takes hold of me.