This Boy - Mclennon

Chapter 30: Tomorrow Never Knows

a/n: im sorry its a little bit shorter than usual and i don't think its my best chapter by far. but please please please enjoy, the trial is coming soon! 

~Paul's~

A young man from Liverpool, who had been beaten, battered and stamped on his entire life had settled down and married the love of his life: another man. I couldn't believe my luck, and now here we stood at 2AM, standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. John's eyes were glistening as he stared up at the tall building. "Crazy, innit?" John mumbled, not taking his eyes away. I stared at him intently. "What is, my love?" I raised an eyebrow as I noticed just how serious he looked. "It's just, y'know, how small and irrelevant we are. Looking up at this bloody monster, it kinda makes all our problems seem like nothin'." John rambled a bit. "Quite deep of you, isn't it?" I tried to joke with him, but he was being serious. "It just makes me think, love." John replied, brushing his hand against mine.

"You're not irrelevant. I think you could change the world if you wanted to." I told him as we began walking back toward the hotel. "I'd like to think so." John shook his head as he spoke, twisting around one last time to look at the Eiffel Tower. "I can't believe we have to go home in the morning." I complained. "I can't believe we got married." John chuckled, nudging my arm as we walked. I nodded in agreement. I wanted to remember this. I wanted to remember walking in the early morning with him underneath the stars of Paris, because lord knew what the future was going to bring for us. I was worried this would be one of our last happy memories, based on what could've happened at the trial.

"Stop thinking so much." John told me as he opened the door to the hotel for me. I smiled and giggled a little bit, loving the fact that he knew me that well. "Bed time, I believe." John grumbled as he threw his shirt on the ground and flopped down on the bed. "I'm not sure I want to leave." I complained again, lying down beside him. John quickly scooped me up into his arms and cuddled in close. "I love you so much, Paul." John said quietly, as if he thought I was already asleep. "I love you too." I whispered back. I lied in John's arms for quite some time, unable to fall asleep. John snored loudly, but that wasn't what was keeping me up. I was worried we had reached our peak.

I had never felt so much happiness as I had during our days in Paris. It all seemed too surreal. We were okay, we were happy, and we were together. I figured it had to end sometime, right? That was just the way my mind worked. Nothing stayed perfect for long. I wiggled out of John's arms, and stood by the window, lighting a cigarette. I stared out at the sun as it began to make an appearance. I stood by the window and smoked, rotating from sitting on the floor to standing back up, and watched the sun fully rise on the Paris skyline. I had almost felt guilty for allowing myself to have such happiness in Paris, always thinking I hadn't really deserved it... that I hadn't really deserved John. But I felt so happy, and I wished all moments could feel the way that one did. I knew I had been worrying for all the wrong reasons, but for now I could forget about it. Until we were home, anyway.

"Macca?" I finally heard John's groggy voice come from the bed. I spun around and slowly approached him, sitting down on the bed next to him. "Are you alright?" John asked, his eyes barely open and sensitive to the light shining through the window. "I'm great, love." I smiled and leaned down to kiss his forehead. "Bloody hell," John said, sitting up to stretch. "Have you gotten any sleep?" He asked, his arms raised above his head as he spoke. "Nah, couldn't." I shook my head. "Do we have time for tea?" John asked, looking around for the clock. "Yes, love. Then let's get on that plane home." I tried to keep smiling to hide the fact that I was absolutely petrified of going home, back to the place that caused all the pain and suffering.

... 

"Doors locked." John said, puzzled, as he looked up at my house. I tried to peak into the windows, and even slide one of them open. "Quite late in the day to be out, but they must be." John shrugged, sitting down on the front stoop and lighting a cigarette. "It seems odd, Auntie Gin never locks the door John." I snatched the cigarette from him. John very well knew I wasn't giving it back either, so he shook his head and lit another one. "Don't worry yourself. We can head over to Mimi's if you like." John told me, patting the spot on the stoop next to him. "I'm to antsy." I shook my head and kept pacing back and forth in my front yard. 

"Flying really messes ye up, doesn't it?" John lied back on the stoop, looking up at the dimming sky. "S'not that, John." I bit at my thumb nail, trying to keep the cigarette away from my nose as I did so. I wanted to tell myself I was overthinking, and that I should just be happy. But the fact that I had started being panicked and worried in Paris made it even more real for me. Something must have been wrong. "What is it then, m'love?" John asked me, sitting back up and resting his arms on his knees, hunched over. I felt my breathing begin to quicken. "I'm just overwhelmed, I think." I admitted, hoping he would drop it. 

"All is well, m'love. We are happily married, we are safely home, and we are definitely going to make sure nothing goes down hill again. You have my word for it, Paul. Please calm down." John said with a soft voice. It was astonishing to me how quickly he picked up on my feelings and thoughts, and how well he could read me. "How'd you-" I tried to ask before he cut me off. "I know you, Macca. I haven't seen you as happy as you were in Paris for, well, hell. I've never seen you that happy before. But it obviously scared you, you're waiting for something bad to happen." John observed. The fact that he knew almost calmed me down. I sat down on the stoop next to him. 

He casually leaned back, putting his arm behind me and pressing his weight into it. It was his way of publicly showing affection without people thinking it was that kind of affection. "I'm being daft, aren't I?" I asked. John chuckled and shook his head. "Definitely not, m'love. With the shit we've been through, it wouldn't surprised me if something else happened just to kick us down." As John spoke, he realized the worry wash over my face. My eyes had widened and my lips had parted. "We are so much stronger now, Paul. Things are different." John began as he lit another cigarette. "But you have to remember there are going to be bumps in the road, and things will get hard. I'll promise you never to let them get as hard as they were, and I will be here. I will always be here." John spoke quietly by the end of his sweet little speech. 

"I hope you're right. The future is a bloody scary place, isn't it?" I asked, feeling quite calmed down by my new husband's words. "Tomorrow never knows." John smiled as he spoke, before puffing on his cigarette. 

"Hold on." John stood up and began digging in my garden. "John!" I laughed. "What in the hell are you doing?" I stood up too and put a finger in his belt loop, pulling him back up. John had his signature John Lennon grin spread across his face. "We've been sitting out here, waiting and whining about, and there's been a bloody emergency key here the entire time!" He laughed as he spoke. I rolled my eyes and snatched the key from him, opening up the door. John grabbed our bags, I grabbed my guitar case and we walked inside the empty house. "I wonder where they are." I mumbled, mostly to myself as John and I kicked off our shoes. "We can unpack tomorrow. Come lay with me." John set our bags down and took my hands, pulling me onto the couch. I lied back on his chest and felt him place a few scattered kisses on the top of my head. "What if Gin and Mike come home to find us cuddling and snogging on the couch?" I asked, chuckling because I knew he was too comfortable to care. "Mike won't mind. We'll just have to convince Gin that she was drunk or somethin'." John laughed at his own joke a little bit too long, before yawning and settling his chin on my head.

"You didn't even sleep on the way home, love." John mumbled into my hair. "I know." I yawned too, shifting my body to get more comfortable on him. He began running his fingers softly up and down my arm and began humming a simple tune. I closed my eyes and began focusing solely on how his touch felt and how his voice sounded. They were both such reassuring sounds. They reminded me of all the times he had truly been there for me, and as he had even said in his vows, I was his greatest challenge. His words rang in my head. 

I will always be here. Would he? Of course he would..

We are so much stronger now, Paul. Were we stronger, though? Or were we just used to the pain?

Things are different. That I could believe, it was the length of time that it would be different that I was concerned about. 

John's nonsensical humming soon turned to soft snores, and he was asleep again. I was not far behind him, there. 

Tomorrow never knows.  

John was right. All I could do was relax, and try to trust that things were going to work out for Mike, Gin, Mimi, John and I. We had knocked one important thing off our list of to-do's: Get married. The next one was going to be a lot more difficult and a lot more mentally trying, exhausting and brutal: Send Jim McCartney to jail. I knew how terrible it would be to see him again, but to protect John, Mike, and even myself, I knew that this was something I had to do. And even if it was the last thing I did, I'd put Jim McCartney away for good.