My New Neighbour

Chapter Twelve

           

Getting better was fine. Everyone around me was just happy to watch me walk and be independent. My mum had tears of joy and I think my dad did too. I didn't. I didn't care. Honestly I didn't want to get better, I didn't want to go home and stay in my room and see his room through the window. Not without his cocky smile on the other side.

I haven't spoken to or seen Beth, I refuse to let her in my room and I don't think she minds. She knows what she did, she knows I know. I guess she understands.

I leave hospital on a Friday. I walk around with an oxygen tank for my lung, it will be a month or so until I don't need it. It doesn't look too bad, I don't care though. Not anymore.

I go to my room and look out of my window. I see his room, the curtain is open and I can see his room, everything is gone. I lay in my bed and sigh. Where is he?

I roll to my side and I look at my desk. I can't feel anything but sadness.

'I love you' I whisper, imagining Alex sitting with me on my bed and his hand going through my hair. My mind travels to our nights together, all of those perfect nights.

Tears well up in my eyes so I reach out to my bedside table for tissues. My hand touches something else, it's rougher. I wipe my eyes and sit up. I look and see a letter. I open it.

Hey A,

I don't know where they are taking me. My parents won't tell me. All I know is that I am not leaving the country. That helps a little bit.

I didn't want to leave you, I really didn't. It was either I leave with my parents or a mental health boarding school thing. I went with the option that could let me see you sooner. You see, I'm not giving up A, I refuse. I have never loved someone like I love you, and I am not letting you go.

I don't know what will happen to me, most of me doesn't care. I only care about you. I still see you falling sometimes. I just want to hold you. And I will, one day.

I have learnt to trust myself and trust you, but I can't expect you to trust me, I know that by now you have probably found out about what happened with Beth, I'm not going to blame it on anyone, I just want to say that I was not in the right mind. I am so sorry, you can castrate me if you want, a deal is a deal.

My parents will be here in ten minutes to pick me up so I have to stop writing, I love you A. We will find each other again. Trust me.

With love,

Alex.

I put the letter down and cry. I take the oxygen tube off of my face and I cry. Soon my door opens.

"You ok?" My sister asks.

"Go away Beth." I say and clean the oxygen tube.

"You read the letter then?" She asks. I nod and put the tube back by my nose and around my ears. "Yeah, he told me to give it to you just before he left." She says, I look away and she hugs me. I hug her back, I just want to die. This hurts so much.

"I love him." I say.

"I know you do, and he loves you too. You just need to stick it out and you will be together again." Beth says and rubs my back. "And by the way, we were tired, emotional. It was a mistake." She adds.

"I don't care about the kiss anymore. I just want him with me." I say. Beth sighs and kisses the top of my head.

"Get some rest. Our parents are having a barbeque in a few days for the people who saved you." Beth says. I sigh and nod.

The next couple days go as sadly as the previous ones. My heart just pumps blood, the only thing I feel is a weight in my chest and oxygen going in my lungs.

I smile slightly at the barbeque, fake smiles of course, I say thank you and listen to the story about a billion times. I really appreciate what these brave people did, I really do, but I haven't really enjoyed my time since they saved me.

"So, what do you want to do in the future?" One of the female paramedics asks.

"I don't know, I mean I enjoy some things but I never really thought about careers." I say honestly.

"Well, what do you enjoy?" She asks.

"I like biology, I like medicine but I think being a GP will be boring. I like being challenged." I say and sip my drink.

"Why don't you become a paramedic then? You get all the big incidents instead of the flu." She says. I shrug and nod, I guess that would be good. Exciting even. Me and the paramedic Emma talk for a while, she even offers to help me if I decide the paramedic route. I'd say we have become friends. I'm actually glad my parents did this now, I have something to do with my life, something to focus on instead of Alex.

I study almost nonstop. It preoccupies my mind in a good way. I focus on the future. Obviously I don't get over Alex, I dream of him every night and my body craves him to be close. I focus on other things so it doesn't hurt me as much. I don't smile, but I don't cry as much anymore. But one thing will stay the same. I love him.