Linda stopped on the busy streets of New York to hail a taxi. She was in a rush to pick up her friend at the airport, who would be furious if she was late.
A taxi swerved up to her, one of its tires rolling up on the curb. Thinking that this was a common mistake and that she really didn't have any choice on the matter, Linda climbed in the seat.
"Airport, please," she said to the driver.
"Eh?" the driver, an elderly man, asked.
"Airport."
"Hair Fort?"
"Air-port!"
"Oh, airport. You should really speak up, Sonny." Linda was about to point out that she was in fact a woman when the driver slammed his foot on the gas and they shot out into traffic, cuing a chorus of blaring horns.
"So how long have you been in the medical field?" the driver asked.
"Um, I'm not," Linda replied.
"I wasn't talking to you."
All of the sudden the driver swerved onto the sidewalk. People started screaming and jumping out of the way.
"I remember I used to walk down this street when I was a boy-child."
"ARE YOU INSANE?!" Linda screamed. "GET BACK ON THE ROAD!"
"Excuse me, Sonny, but did you get your driver's license from Mr. Happy's School for the Mentally Unsound? No, I don't think so, so shut your pie hole."
"YOU'RE GOING TO GET US BOTH KILLED!"
"I think you may be overreacting," he said as he swerved back onto the road and through a red light. "Ah, here we are!" He yanked the wheel to the right and crashed through a shop window. "That'll be $80."
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How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse
HumorHow to survive the zombie apocalypse, and other amusing stories I've written in creative writing.
