Asylum - Danger Days {Completed}

15. The World Is Still Ugly

"And if you save my life, I'll be the one who drives you home tonight. And if I ever let you down, I'll be the one who drives you home tonight." --- AMBULANCE

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The World is Still Ugly

Party's P.O.V.

"Traitors!" I scream, thrashing against the tight hands on my arms. Ghoul, Jet, and Kobra are desperately trying to hold me back. "Let me go! Dammit, let go of me! Why are you doing this? Why?"

Ghoul's voice is thick, like he's close to tears. "We told her, Party, I swear we did. We told her not to do it, but... She's just so stubborn! I mean, y-you know how she gets." He sniffs loudly and continues to help haul me backward, away from BLI, away from the fallen bodies of the Dracs, away from Paranoia. "She wanted to save us. We couldn't stop her, Party."

"No!" I snarl, successfully yanking one of my arms away. The second arm is released right after, until I'm standing across from the three of them, my back to the building so far off in the distance, my chest heaving and my eyes stinging. "Maybe you couldn't stop her, but I could have. I could have! Sh-she could be here, right now, with us, escaping." I turn away, suddenly overcome by the desire to sprint back to BLI, break open the doors, and stay by her side as the whole place blows. "I'm going back."

"No, you're not," Kobra says in his always calm voice. This time I hear it waver. Is everything I know a lie? I thought I could trust them to keep her out of trouble. I thought I could trust her to be honest with me on something this serious. I thought I could trust myself to not break down the second her life is in danger.

They start to drag me again. I'm facing the dark mass in the distance, praying as I'm screaming that the bomb won't work and she'll be safe and sound. It seems like it's been forever since I've seen her. I may never see her again. That thought makes me struggle harder than I was before. My fists are flying, trying to connect with someone's face to make them let go while simultaneously attempting to blow out their knees with the heels of my boots. Anything to get them to release me.

The sound of the bomb erupting makes all of us freeze and whip around to see thick black smoke rising into the air. Bright light on the horizon tells me the remains of BLI are on fire.

A strangled cry slips out and I fall to my knees, dragging my three teammates down with me. My body shakes as I press my palms to the ground, squeezing my eyes shut as the tears start to fall. "No, no, no, no, no," I chant, my voice breaking. She can't be gone. She just can't be. Not now. Not like this. Not with so much left unsaid.

I'm thankful that Dr. D and Show Pony have already left in the van. I don't want Missile Kid to see me like this. I don't want anyone to see me like this. Paranoia was my one weakness, and I hate her for it. But, at the same time, I know that I love her for it. There was nothing about her I didn't like. Not her stubborness, her bravery, her impetuousness, the way she was willing to sacrifice herself for everyone else around her. I hate myself for being so selfish, wanting to stop her from doing what she so clearly had her mind set on. I hate myself for loving her so much that I wanted to keep her from the world, when there's really no escaping this shithole of a life.

Several groups of Killjoys stuck around to see if Paranoia was successful in her mission to blow up the building. For all they know, she got out safe and sound like we had planned. None of them pay any attention to me crying my heart out on the cement covered ground. Instead, they cheer loudly and triumphantly throw up their hands.

I look past my scraggly strands of red hair to see Jet on my right, hands pressed over his face. Ghoul is on my left, slumped on the pavement with his arms thrown over the back of his head. Both of them are quaking, obviously crying. It was stupid of me to think I was the only one grieving.