Forgetting Logic | Book One

9

I care too much for the careless,

These sentimental values mean nothing if we're stuck playing a game of the heart,

This game was no longer two player when you decided to kill me for an extra life,

A life that doesn't matter when you have no partner to stand by,

This is my promise,

My vow

Alexander.

"Mon Ami?"

"Oh hey Laf." I placed my pen in my notebook to act as a bookmark. Laf sat down across from me. His smile wasn't as prominent as it usually was.

I tilted my head. "What's wrong?"

"It's Thomas."

Isn't it always? The fucker is always doing something to bring himself to the center of attention.

"I just left him. What do you mean?"

"He's headed...uhh how Herc say's...No where fast as shit?"

I couldn't help but giggle. Laf always tries to mimic Herc's style of speech.

"Okay and why are you telling me this. He's your cousin." In honesty I have nothing to do with him anymore. I watched over him in high school and I'm not wasting my time again.

"Alex you know you have a hold on him. Do something please? "

I have a hold on him?

Is he sure that he means me and not James? I'm pretty sure Madison knows Thomas more than I do.

Thomas and I have been apart for so long it's like we barely know each other. I wanna get to know him again but something in my mind is telling me that neither of us are emotionally ready for that. I'm just now getting myself together and I don't need Thomas trying to tear down everything that I've built.

I can't go through that again. I can't. I won't.

I looked at Laf with apologetic eyes. "I'm sorry but I can't. Last time I got anywhere close to Thomas I only got hurt."

I didn't even let him respond. I just got up from my seat and walked away into the darkness that was known as night.

Flashback

"...And for just that split second you became my home. We forgot that the world around us was on fire and I swore that you loved me.I swore that you couldn't live with out me. I swore that we were gonna get married. We didn't, we just faded into black"

Thomas looked at me as I finished reading my poem to him. Ash and smoke faded out into the distance.
I swear each cigarette he let poison him made us separate a little further. His eyes were just like his soul, rude and slowly dying out.

Smoking and Drinking his pain away. My goodness all I wanted to do was love him.

 Who could be so angry at the world?

......

My feet took me to a familiar place.

A purple door with a gold knob.

Thomas's dorm.

I couldn't bring myself to knock on it right away. What the hell am I doing?

I don't even know what I'm going to say.

I might or might not have stood there for ten minutes arguing with myself.

Impulsively I raised my hand and knocked on the door. Instantly I regretted it. A few seconds later Thomas opened the door

Shirtless.

His body glistening from sweat his previous workout provided. His chest strong and shoulders broad. As my eyes roamed his body they slowly made their way to his abdomen. Each muscle clearly defined and well toned.

I felt my breath quicken as I snuck a peak at his v-line that was exposed from his sweat pants.

Those damn grey sweat pants.

I looked back into his eyes. Pure hunger. His bottom lip in between his teeth as his leaned against the door frame with his elbow.

Focus Alex.

I pushed myself to talk.

"Alright look, I'm saying that I fucking forgive you or some shit like that but I do know that you need all the help you can get right now. Even if it is just some company that can mellow you out. Don't take my kindness for weakness when I'm hanging around you. Like I said I'm not an evil person. I've seen how bad you can spiral downwards when you don't take your medicine. Plus I know that it's getting close to your mothers death anniversary. If you ever need someone to talk to you can come to me but I don't want no funny shit. I know how to be there for someone when they need it."

I turn around to walk away when I felt Thomas grab my arm. He spun me around to face him. He looked conflicted with what to say.

"Umm, Thank you...for being there for me when I tried to, you know. I know you didn't have to do that."

I laughed at his comment. " You thought I did that for you? Do you really think I want your blood on my conscious? I did that for my own sanity."

"Thank you anyway."

"My Pleasure."

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Chapter 9 is complete!

WE FUCKING MADE IT TO 1K!! LET ME GIVE YOU ALL KISSES!

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