Chapter 37- Connor

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Zoe literally ran into me in the hallway.

"Connor!!" She said in her thick British accent. "I've been looking everywhere for you!!"

"Why...?" I said slowly. Zoe and I are friends but we're not really that close. Not as close as I've gotten with Tyler.

"It's about Troye," she said.

"Nope," I said turning away. "I don't want to hear it."

"Connor... Don't pretend like you don't care about him still because we all know we do."

"What's the point though?!" I sighed. "He obviously doesn't care. Why should I be the one to keep holding on?"

"Connor I don't know how to tell you this but- um- he's," she stopped.

Suddenly I'm extremely concerned.

"What? Is he okay?"

"Now I understand why Tyler said not to tell you..." she said trailing off.

"Zoe, what's going on?" I said feeling anxiety creeping up on me. "Is he okay?"

"No," she sighed. "But I probably shouldn't tell you any more. For your own good."

Now I'm straight up scared. Who the fuck says "no, but I'm not gonna tell you."

"It's fine, I'll be fine just tell me!" I said.

She shook her head, starting to turn away.

"I should have listened to Tyler," she muttered to herself, looking worried.

"Zoe!" I grabbed her arm. "You're scaring me. Please just tell me what happened. What I'm imagining in my head is probably far worse that what really happened."

I could see the war going on in her head through her eyes. She opened her mouth and closed it again as if the words won't come out.

"You have to swear not to do anything," she said. "You can't tell anyone or do anything. At least not yet."

"Ok I promise, just tell me what's going on!" I said getting frustrated.

"Jacob is abusive. And from the way Troye looks, he's way worse than Matthew."

My heart froze. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know how I didn't notice the change in Troye. It's like 90 degrees out and he's been wearing sweatshirts again. He looked so tired and sick.

Tears came to my eyes. I didn't even try to hold them back. The pain in my heart was almost unbearable. I sank to the floor ignoring the other people who were staring in the hallway.

"Don't just fucking stand there!" Zoe yelled at the other students. "There's nothing to see! Keep moving!"

My baby... bruised and broken.

"Shhh," Zoe said, kneeling down beside me. "Let's go outside yeah?"

She took my hand and led me away from the crowded hallway that was already buzzing with rumors of what might have happened.

We sat down on a bench and she continued to hold me. The tears wouldn't stop. Something about this situation is different. Instead of feeling a rush of overwhelming thoughts leading to a panic attack... I felt nothing. My mind was empty. Somehow this is worse.

"Connor, it'll be okay," she said in her gentle soft voice. "Troye is staying with Tyler tonight. He'll be safe."

"I should've known. I should've of seen it. I'm supposed to be looking out of him," I said in low voice

"Don't even think about blaming this on yourself..." she warned.

"This is my fault! I promised him I would keep him safe. I told him I wouldn't let anyone hurt him!" I choked out the words.

"He left Connor. We don't know why. You can't say that's your fault."

She's right... "Well what do we do then?"

"We wait," she said. "Tyler said that Troye doesn't want anyone to know so it's gonna take some convincing to get him to be okay with reporting this."

We wait... How can I wait when I know the love of my life is probably crying somewhere? How can I just sit here when I know he's hurting?

"Connor," she said softly. "He needs you. Don't get involved. You need to stay strong for him, okay?"

I took a deep breath.

Troye needs me.

If he needs time, then I'll give it to him.

I'll give him 2 days.

If I don't hear anything good before then, I'm getting involved.

~v

wheres my editor... this is literal shit..

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