Chapter Nineteen
The smiling imbecile Doctor Burke saunters into the room and the nurse leaves. I watch her mournfully, not wanting to be alone with any male. At least I’m not with Doctor Bornocone, I suppose.
“So, how are you feeling today?” the psychiatrist asks with a brisk tone, getting right down to business.
“Why do you care?”
“This is for your benefit only, Amber,” he replies like a smart-aleck. “You’re the patient here receiving our treatment.”
“I don’t want treatment,” I growl.
“Whether you want it or not, you are going to get it. In hospitals such as these we do not allow patients to sit back and kill themselves.”
I snort. “Kill myself? Just how am I doing that?”
“You know perfectly well, Amber,” Doctor Burke sneers. “Starving. How many more times must we keep you on a feeding tube until you become willing to accept treatment and actually eat for once? This place is for everyone else with mental problems such as yours. Most people do not want help or treatment and refuse to help themselves. Which is why this place is a long term center, if not a life-long treatment program.”
“If I’m going to be here for the rest of my life, why should I want to ‘get better’?” I shriek. “What’s the point? Who the hell wants to live in a fucking INSANE ASYLUM?”
“If you refuse to calm down, we will tranquilize you.”
“I don’t care! Why can’t you just let me die?” I cry. “For the longest time I have had nothing to live for, nothing! Just let me GO! I hate myself, I hate this fucking place, and I hate all the doctors here who think they’re trying to help me, when instead they’re just making everything WORSE!”
“Thank you for expressing your feelings, Amber. That is a start. First cooperation for any type of therapy offered to you, so far.”
“You call this cooperation? I am MISERABLE! I. Want. To. Die. Goddammit!” I lose control of my words, emotions, everything, and just have a complete nervous breakdown, sobbing and gasping for air. I lose my entire vision due to the water leaking out of my eyes like faucets.
The longer and longer I cry the more fuzzy my thoughts become, till I began to hear Sam talking to me.
“You brought this all on yourself. It’s your fault. You never should have failed me, Amber.”
“How did I fail you?” I whisper desperately in a broken voice.
“HOW? TELL ME!”
Suddenly I feel a needle forcefully lodge itself in the crook of my arm. They’re sedating me and I thankfully give in to the tiredness, hoping to never wake up again.
†
“What are we going to do with this one?”
“That I am still trying to come to terms with.”
“She is not cooperating with any of her treatments. She has got to be the most stubborn girl of all our patients. Do you think we should just—give up and use her as an experiment?”
आप पढ़ रहे हैं
Tortured Soul Asylum
हॉररAmber struggles with living after her best friend commits suicide. Her life was never so great before that incident happened in the first place. She has no will to live and attempts suicide time and time again. Finally, she is put into a long-term p...
