Tortured Soul Asylum

Chapters 4 - 6

Chapter Four

            They have me on suicide watch. Day in and day out someone is sitting in the hospital room monitoring me, taking me to the bathroom, making me eat every fattening, disgusting meal the cook brings to me, and making sure I don’t rip the IV out of my arm.

            This was not the first time I’ve ended up like this. Last year I downed all of the Tylenol. The year before that, I cut my throat and jumped in front of a car. I’ve also tried drowning myself in the bathtub. So on, and so on.

            The nurses tell me that this was my last chance. I might be permanently confined to a psych ward, now.

            Well, I’ve had nothing to lose for a long time, now, anyway.

            “Has my mother come to visit me?” I ask Sitter Amy.

            “She called the ambulance to take you here, but she refuses to come and see you,” Amy says.

            “Oh…”

            “After the level of medicine gets out of your system, you’ll be transferred to Oak Springs – do you need to use the bathroom?”

            I sigh. “Sure.” I ignore the fact that she unhooks the censors that monitor my heart rate, pushes the IV behind me to the toilet, and watches me pee.

            After I wash my hands and lay back down in the bed, a wave of nausea hits. My eyes warn her of the oncoming and she quickly shoves a bowl under my head. Amy watches me puke black shit into it.

            After the sickeningly sweet vomit finishes hacking up my throat, I tell her to take the bowl away.

            She then hands me a glass of water and sits back down in the chair beside me. I close my eyes and breathe through my mouth.

            There is a knock at the door, and a nurse comes in to check my vital signs and to make sure I didn’t rip the stitches out of my arm. She changes the bandages over my chest, and says, “Glad to see you’re doing a little better, Amber.”

            Oh, sure. I’m doing great. Just kill me. I don’t deserve to die, I guess.

            The nurse leaves, saying that the doctors will come in soon to tell me when I can be transferred to the [prison] ward.

†

            Doctor Carmen comes in while I am reluctantly eating lunch. [Don’t want to get forced fed…]

Doctor: “How are you feeling, Amber?”

Amber: blinks.

Doctor: “The results came in from your blood test, and your system will be clean by tomorrow. Do you, um, have any questions?”

Amber: “How long will I be living at the mental hospital?”

Doctor: “You will be committed to Oak Springs for…quite some time. We want to make sure that you will be safe as possible. Some psychiatrists will be meeting with you later to talk.”

            “Mhmm,” Sam’s voice says in my ear. I look over to the right. “It’s about time you noticed me,” she giggles. “Well now, isn’t this a feeble attempt? You came so close to dying…but no.” She frowns. “I miss you, Amber.”

Chapter Five

            I shuffle down the dimly lit hallway to my new room in Oak Springs. Sam holds my hand, but I can’t see her. The nurse attendant leads me into the empty room; there are only two beds and a dresser-drawer for clothes.