Epilouge. House of Dicks - Literally

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Epilogue

Beep, beep, beep.

I shut off my alarm blaring at 7 am. I roll over, falling back to sleep.

"Serafina, you don't have to go to class, but at least eat something. Get out of bed. He wouldn't want you to be like this."

"Yeah, well, he's not here. So it doesn't matter." I mumble into my pillow, but I know he heard me.

He sighed and left the tray of food next to my bed.

No one knows what happened to Henry. He kind of just disappeared; hopefully his army retaliated and killed him. But Eric is dead, I made sure of it.

I looked at the calendar. 5 months, 3 weeks, and 1 day. That is how long I have been living without my heart.

It's not an easy task. I feel like I'm suffocating. I can taste the oxygen on my tongue, but I can't seem to get it into my lungs. I'm drowning in my own despair.

He left me. I can't even speak his name anymore, it hurts to. I wipe a stray tear about to fall. I've stopped crying as much, I don't have the energy. There's no point. He's not coming back.

My stomach seems to be yelling at me. "Give me food!" Food. A necessity. A privilege. When was the last time I ate? I don't remember.

And I'm pretty sure I smell bad. I haven't left this bed, well since I got out of the infirmary. Turns out I was injured pretty bad. I was unconscious for most of it, though the doctors say that was probably due to my 'mental shutdown'.

I missed the funerals. About 1000 of our men and women died in the war. I was told that each name was said out loud and there is a monument in the garden remembering them. No one said anything about Emery.

The king and queen came to say goodbye, they had to leave to take care of the current issue. "As long as you keep him in your heart, Emery, my son, will return." The king whispered to me. I think he meant, he will always live on. You know, what you always say to people who lost a loved one.

"You have to do something! She can't stay like this! Emery wouldn't want it. She's killing herself Caleb." I can hear Landon yelling. Everyone has tried to get me to do something, anything. I just can't seem to move.

At least I'm still studying. What I'm learning, I have no idea. But the teachers are taking pity on me. I hate pity. They were all at the war. Others lost loved ones as well.

It wasn't perfect. We did lose friends, even though we won. We did lose the future king; my would-be husband.

What did we win?

"If I said yes, do you think he would have survived?" I asked from the doorway. I can barely stand I'm so weak.

I'm tired, really tired. Maybe if I sleep, I won't ever wake up. That would be convenient.

"Are you fucking crazy?! It wouldn't be convenient!" I didn't know I said it aloud. "We all loved Emery. We all lost our king, our friend. You have to grow up. Get out of this damn depression. It's been 5 months Serafina. You're killing yourself. How do you think this is making us feel? Emery would have a shit fit if he saw you like this.

Please Serafina."

I looked at Raven, the look of remorse in his eyes. "I'm sorry Fi, but please."

"What the fuck man?" someone said, I think Caleb.

I walked away. What there to say? They're right. I need to grow up. Wallowing in self misery is getting a pity party. It's not going to bring him back. Maybe if I would have moved a second sooner, I could have saved him. He would still be here. Emery wouldn't want this of me. I know I will never find someone else, but I have to try to live a normal life, at least for him.

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