Too Weary of Life and Deception (Viktor X Yuri)

It Can't Be... Can it?

"You know that I'm in love with him," Viktor stated, cutting him off, looking back at Phichit as his tears fell harder. "So you decided to try and make me feel as guilty as possibly by making something up, like saying that Yuri had a child with me and I just left him to fend for himself!"

Phichit was internally freaking out. He did have an inkling of an idea that Viktor did, indeed, have a crush on his best friend, but he never knew that Viktor was crushing on Yuri so hard that he actually loved him. He hadn't made this stuff up, but Viktor thought he did. He would never make up something this important.

And Viktor didn't seem to be able to see that.

"Viktor, I'm not-"

"Phichit, stop lying to me!" Viktor cried, his sobbing getting louder and echoing off the walls of the alley. "Stop making me feel so horrible about myself! If you wanted to hurt my heart for hurting Yuri the way I did, I would have much rather you just told me that Yuri has a girlfriend! Phichit, you are taking this way too far!"

"I'm not trying to hurt you!" Phichit replied, gripping Viktor's shoulders and shaking the older man's shoulders. "I'm telling you the complete truth!"

"Shut up!" Viktor shouted in an un-Viktor like way, ripping Phichit's hands from his shoulder and clenching his eyes shut. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

Phichit stayed silent, waiting for Viktor to say something. He didn't want to anger the Russian anymore, knowing that if he did, he could possibly end up with a bruise somewhere on his body. He watched as Viktor cried to himself, the man hiding his face in his hands so Phichit couldn't see him.

Viktor was in so much pain internally, and pressing himself against the brick wall behind him didn't help him one bit. His heart hurt so much, it was to the point that it felt as if his chest was caving in on itself. Guilt washed over him, a waterfall with a never ending supply of tears filling it from the clouds above. He didn't understand the point behind what Phichit was doing to him: he just knew that the boy wanted to make him feel guilt for something.

He succeeded for whatever reason he wanted Viktor to feel this way.

He loved Yuri, and it was because he loved Yuri that he felt this way. The information that he had hurt Yuri as he had was already a lot to take in. Put in the fact that Phichit also made up the fact Yuri could somehow get pregnant and have children and that Yuri had his child, it hurt him even more. It was a lie, and Viktor was pretty certain of it, but it still made him feel so much more guilty. So guilty, in fact, that he did feel as if he were a failure as a father, even though he didn't have a child of his own to take care of.

But even so...

It took him a while before he finally calmed down, his body heavy and filled with lead. His breath came shakily to and from his lungs, his body quivering along with it. When he felt that he was calm enough, he looked at Phichit momentarily before standing and walking to the edge of the alley. He heard Phichit stand up from the ground, shuffling quickly  to go after him. Stopping, he turned around to look at Phichit. The boy stopped and waited for Viktor to say something.

"Give me some time," Viktor rasped out, his voice croaking slightly from over use of crying. "I can believe what you say about me harming Yuri, but I just cant believe the fact that I have a child. Just... give me some time to think about everything. I'll talk to you again when I have my decision on the matter. I'm sorry, Phichit."

With that, he left the ally and made his way back to his coach and rink mates, who were still at the rink and waiting for him to return. The lobby of the rink was practically empty except for them, and it was pretty easy to spot them. He walked over to them, putting on as convincing of a smile as he could and hoping that it wasn't all that obvious that he was crying.