The Story Of Tonight - Lamilton Modern College AU

My Father Wasn't Around

John

They waited. John heard some hushed whispers.

Then again, he was hearing a lot of things, and nothing at all.

But then he heard a very distinct voice. "Is it safe to come out?" He recognized the voice as that of Martha. "Yes, it is," He said with the closest thing to a smile he could muster. There was a second of silence, and then four children scrambling to John. He got down on one knee, spreading his arms open. The kids ran up to him, hugging him tightly. He looked at Alex, who was watching with an amused grin.

"You came! You really came!" James cried. John squeezed them tighter. "Of course I came," he whispered, wishing that he never had to let go.

Eventually he did, though. Alex was watching with a small, genuine smile playing on his lips. John finally stood up, and was immediately enveloped in Alex's tight embrace. "I'm so proud of you," Alex said with his eyes squeezed shut. John just buried his head into Alex's shoulder, letting silent sobs escape from his throat. The kids watched awkwardly, and John suddenly remembered their presence. He pulled away, looking back to them. "You guys wanna go to your rooms? I'll let you know when he's gone..." He suggests, glancing nervously at Henry. They nodded obediently, wordlessly leaving.

After they were gone, Alex cupped John's face in his hands. "I love you." Alex whispered with wide eyes. 

John knew that. He knew he loved Alex, too. And yet the words still caught him off-guard. Butterflies swarmed his stomach, his voice stuck in his throat. His hands got all clammy and his face got all flushed, and he wanted to speak but didn't know what to say.

He felt dizzy and nauseous and so, so happy all at the same time and he felt like he was going to die all the while.

"Shit- I'm so sorry, you don't want to say it back, do you? I suck at this, I'm sorry! Shit, shit!" Alex cursed, pulling his hands away.

John grabbed them, placing them gently on his hips with a beyond happy smile. "I'm sorry, I got nervous...Alexander..."

Alex looked hopefully up at him, a goofy grin gracing his features. "I love you, so much." John leaned in for a kiss, which Alex happily delivered. It was silly, really. They had implied it, practically said it already, and yet those three words were so powerful against him.

As the kiss deepened, John's tongue sliding into Alex's mouth hungrily, a loud knocking sounded from the door. "This is the police! Open the door!" Someone yelled through the wood. John pulled away with a red face and rushed to the door. 

~~~

Henry was gone.

Henry was gone.

Henry was gone.

"Is he really gone?" James asked, tears swimming in his glossy eyes. John nodded with a watery smile, tears slipping from his eyes, too. "He's gone," he repeated, mostly to himself. Even Eleanor was crying, and she was only three years old. 

"Mr. John Laurens?" Someone interrupted. John turned to see the officer that was at the door. "Yes m'am." He said, brushing away any escaped tears. "You are his eldest son, correct?" She clarified. John nodded, hating being called Henry's son. He wasn't Henry's son- he was Henry's punching bag.

"And- these are his other children? Your siblings?" She asked carefully. "Yes- well, they're my half-siblings. My mother died during childbirth, and my father blamed me. That's where the abuse started. I ran away to college as soon as I could... I had heard that he found a new wife and had children, and I called the wife. Her name is Eleanor- was, I should say. She confirmed that he stopped drinking and didn't abuse her or her children. I met her in person a week later with her kids, because she wanted to apologize." He took a breath to keep his voice as steady as possible.

"She assured me that she wouldn't bring Henry. She died of cancer less than a year after that visit, but I never contacted them again. Then I received a call from Martha- she told me that he was hurting them, and... that's what brought me here." 

John did his best to hold in his strangled sobs- although his voice cracked throughout the story. He hadn't told anyone this for quite a while, never this detailed, and even now that Henry is gone, it still hurt him.

Alex's arm snaked out, grabbing John's hand it squeezing it reassuringly. John shot him a grateful smile. 

The officer looked from them, to their intertwined hands, and back to them. She quirked an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. While Alex just smiled at her proudly, John blushed and looked at the floor timidly. 

"We're going to have to call child services," She says suddenly. John's heart sinks for a second. "C-Child services?" He knew that this would happen, he knew that they would do that, and yet- it still scared him to think about. She gave him a grim look as she nodded.

Child services.

~~~

John stared at Alexander. 

He stared, studying his face, memorizing his features.

They were both sitting Indian-style on the hotel bed, looking at each other. Somehow it wasn't awkward at all. Suddenly, Alex's fingers brushed across John's cheek. His touch trailing over John was so simple, yet so intimate. For a while, they just sat silently, Alex tracing something on John's face with his fingers, and John sitting self-consciously with flushed cheeks. Finally, John asked incredulously, "What are you doing?"

Alex turned red, removing his hand instantly. "Uh- sorry! Kinda spaced out- it's just, your freckles form the big dipper. Sorry!" Alex stammered. John laughed, making Alex laugh with them. At what? Their ridiculousness? Out of the relief that they were finally together? At how comfortable they are with each other and yet so uncomfortable? It was weird, but John enjoyed it. It was like a breath of fresh air.

"God, how did I manage to find someone like you?" Alex sighed with a wolfish grin. John blushed slightly. "I ask myself the same question."

"You shouldn't." Alex said. He was smiling, but John knew that he was serious. His smile was weighted down by internal pain like a rock in water. John didn't know how to acknowledge it, so for now, he ignored it and pretended it wasn't there.

He felt guilty about it.

"We should go to bed." John interrupted the silence. "You should go to bed. When was the last time you got eight hours?" 

Alex looked incredulous. "Eight hours?!" 

John got up and pushed him down, straddling him. His hands were placed on Alex's shoulders, his body hovering over the short boy's. Their faces were centimeters apart and Alex's breathing was quickening- John knew because he could feel Alex's warm breath hitting his face.

 Without warning, John rolled over, laying on his own side. He heard a somewhat disappointed sigh from Alex, causing is face to heat up and a giggle to escape his lips. He scooted closer to Alex, resting his head on Alex's chest. Instinctively, Alex wrapped an arm around John's shoulders, pulling him closer.

They both drifted to sleep like that, and John felt as light a feather for the first time in a long time. He felt like all the pain, all the sweat, all the tears, all the blood from his past had been wiped clean. A weight had been lifted from his chest. He knew he would never forget what happened in that house, but now he could accept it. He could accept that it was over- Henry was gone. The pain was gone. The hurting was gone.

John had a good night sleep that night.