The Story Of Tonight - Lamilton Modern College AU

I Will Gladly Join The Fight

John

I hate the idea of this. All of this. But as long as I act happy, I am happy. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. Somehow, it doesn't feel like it's working.

The silence is nice, because we can pretend that nothing is wrong or different. I think Alex may be on to my act, however I can't be sure, and I'd like to believe I'm pretty good at keeping it up. Whether or not he thinks I'm faking it, he has no evidence or proof that is credible. As we're walking peacefully, enjoying the somewhat-murky atmosphere, a cool voice sounds from behind us. Alexander's hands curl into fists, and I find my own teeth clenched.

"Well, if it isn't thing one and thing two?" Jefferson smirked, his arms crossed loosely over his chest, yet his posture tall and rigid. "What do you want, dickhead?" Alexander sneered, turning around harshly. John followed in suit, a glare spreading on his features. "Ooh, you're boyfriend looks pissed, Laurens!" Jefferson grinned, causing John's tough stance falter for a second. Alexander ignored the comment. "What, not offended? I'd feel pretty insulted to be accused of being a fag," he purred. "You better shut that hole in your face and give it a chance to heal," Alex growled. Jefferson smirked, "Oh, I'm sorry, I just offended your culture, didn't I?" 

"Are you implying that I'm gay?" Alexander asked incredulously, while Laurens continued to stare at the scene in front of him. "If the shoe fits, where it." Jefferson countered. "You must be outta your goddamn mind if you think that offends me. But, you wanna know a secret?" Alex's voice stayed level as he talked. "I'm gayer than Ellen DeGeneres and Albus Dumbledore dancing on a rainbow with unicorns. But of course you'd recognize that, huh, what with you giving Madison blowjobs every night."(A/N: I know that Alexander is usually bi, but I wanted him to say that so in this fic he's gonna be gay) Alex began raising his voice, and Jefferson opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out, but red leaked into his cheeks.

"Oh, did I push your buttons? Sorry, I was just looking for mute." Jefferson opened his mouth again, but closed it again, floundering for a comeback. Instead he just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, keep rolling your eyes. You might find a brain back there. Oh, and why don't you turn around and bend over, while your at it, so I can show you where my shoe fits!" Jefferson glowered at him, but just nudged Madison and Burr, who were standing at his sides with dumbstruck expressions. "You think your so cool, don't you, Hammy?" He scoffed, pink still dusting his cheeks. "I'd like to thinks so," Alex replied smoothly. "Now go shove your tongue down Madison's throat, why don't you?" 

"Let's just go," Jefferson muttered to his "friends" (Madison is way more than just a friend). They jogged off, and Alex turned to John triumphantly, basking in glory for a second, before his face paled. "Oh... shit." Realization dawned on him, you could see it in his face. "I fucked up, didn't I? I'm an idiot."

John didn't know what to say or do, but he felt a glimmer of hope for a second that he could be with Alex. No, even if he really was gay, he clearly didn't like John.

"I just- I just- I just came out for the first time to... Jefferson? In front of-" His face regained a color, this time tinted a dark crimson, his ears turning bright red. "In front of you... Oh god, what do I do?" He asked with wide eyes, shaking his head nervously. "What about Eliza?" John finally asked. "Oh no, what about Eliza! Oh god John, you can't tell her, alright?" He begged. "Alexander, you can't put her through this. She's such a wonderful girl, are you using her as a cover up?" John accused. "I don't know, John, I don't really love her, but the person I do love... he'll never love me back, and I love spending time with Eliza and I really like her, I just... Please forgive me."

"You have to go break up with her." John instructed. "I can't!" Alexander panicked. "You have to!" John replied harshly.The person he really loved. He knew there was someone. He knew that Alex and him wouldn't ever have a chance.

"Give me two weeks." Alex bargained hopefully. "Two weeks?" John protested, crossing his arms. "Two weeks," Alex repeated. John looked around thoughtfully, before releasing an exasperated sigh. "Fine. Two weeks." John conceded, knowing that he would regret it later.

~~~

"Oh, look who's back!" Hercules called as Alex and John entered the shop. "With a friend?" Lafayette added questioningly. "Yeah, I figured I'd convince him to take a break while I was at the dorms." Alex lied through his teeth. "What did you have to grab?" Peggy asked. "Oh, my phone."

"When did you get a phone?!" Laf, Herc, and Eliza nearly yelled. He used to take pride in his lack of a phone. "Yesterday. This dork forced me," He motioned to John with a laugh. John grinned. "Guilty." 

"Well let's exchange numbers!" Eliza suggested happily, pulling out her own phone. They did just that, adding everyone's contacts into his phone. John and Alex continued to have silent conversations every time Eliza would grip his hand, lean her head on his shoulder, wrap and arm around her shoulders, or even give him a small kiss on the cheek. All of those actions caused Laurens to burn with jealousy and desire, yet he didn't show it, just gave Alex a silent lecture about how wrong this is. 

"Hang on- I'm getting a call." Peggy suddenly interrupts after an hour or so. "Hello?" She answers. "Oh yeah, we're just out shopping at the mall," she answers nonchalantly, and everyone wonders if there's a lie she couldn't get away with. "Mmhmm... Okay, we'll just check out now and be on our way. We won't be late... Love you... Okay... B-" She brought the phone away from her ear, examining the screen. "Bye," she muttered to herself before slipping the phone in her pocket and looking back to her sisters. "Dad wants us to come home now," she says somewhat sadly. They were all enjoying the get-together. "Well, we'll see you soon, I hope," Angelica starts. "Yes. It was wonderful finally meeting you all," Eliza continues. Peggy smiles, "I second that."

"The feeling is mutual," Hercules politely said. "Oui," Laf affirmed. Eliza, Peggy, and Angelica waved before walking out the door. "Well, that was fun, I'm gonna go home now," Alexander said quickly, eyeing John warily. He rushed to the door, his hand on the handle when John started, "It would only be fitting for me to walk with you, considering I wouldn't have ended up having the pleasure of coming here without you." John said loudly, walking over to him. Alexander forced a wide smile. "Sounds good."

"But... really? Gayer than Ellen DeGeneres and Albus Dumbledore dancing on rainbows?" John finally asked ridiculously, earning a deep chuckle from Alex. "Don't forget the unicorns," he corrected. John rolled his eyes, now laughing, too.

"Who do you love?" John asked after a while. Alex turned bright red, and stuttered a weak "W-What?" 

"You said that the guy you really love would never love you back. Who is he?" John specified, wanting to at least know who had crushed his dreams. "Unimportant. Maybe one day I'll tell you, but not today."John shrugged, deciding not to pry. The rest of the walk was quiet.

John always liked the quiet.