Fix You

'The Crutch'

"Don't you think it's a little odd that the nurses lunch area windows aren't tinted so the patients outside won't see us in here?" I say before taking a bite out of my sandwich and staring through the windows to look at the patients outside.

"Of course not, I think it has something to do with the comfort and safety of the patient." Perry shrugs and continues her lunch routine.

"Cause there's so much comfort in being able to see nurses watching you while they eat?" I question getting a playful hit to the shoulder and laugh from Perry.

"Always so curious Laura, someday that's going to get you in trouble you know?"

"Yeah thanks Dad." I roll my eyes teasing her and receiving another hit to the shoulder.

I take another bite of my sandwich and skim through the windows looking to see if the patient I was paired with today would be outside at this time. I didn't find my patient, but I did find a familiar face.

Carmilla sat against the fence with her knees to her chest and what looked like a new book placed perfectly on top of her knees. I never took her as one to be active or even enjoy the sun, but she sat silently against the fence under the shade of a tree. I honestly liked when she was peaceful. She had this relaxation in her shoulders when she was alone. There was no evil smile or angry smirk, but a rested face with incredibly wrinkle free skin. Her left hand laid beside her plucking at the grass as her right turned the page of the book settled in-between the top of her knees. She was calm. She was peaceful. She was.. dare I say, beautiful.. As I watched her from afar I noticed a small smirk start to form on her lips, it was then that I realized I was caught. Carmilla raised her head and waved at me from beyond the fenced ground and through the window. Her eyes meeting mine only briefly before I looked down at my meal cursing the see-through windows.

"Watch out with that one, she's very manipulative." Perry says acknowledging my suddenly unwanted existence.

"Carmilla?"

"Yes ma'am." She nods cleaning her corner of the table.

"What's she in for anyways? She seems fine to me. Aside from some possible bipolar issues-"

"Multiple reasons," Doctor Lafontaine interrupts our conversation, walking up to our table and taking a seat beside Perry.
"Though I've never seen her so.. active? That is, until you came around." They look out the window at Carmilla then towards me.

"Me?" I ask confused now. When I finally find the courage to look up, I see Carmilla's eyes dug back into her book.

Lafontaine nods taking a grape from Perry's tray.
"Hey! Hands to yourself. That's how germs spread."

"Oh Per Bear, you're such a germaphobe," they laugh with a teasing smile.

'Per bear?' I think to myself with a small chuckle.

"You're the doctor, shouldn't you be the same?" Perry says with a pout.

"I am, in secrecy" they shrug.

"Are you saying my opinions shouldn't be voiced?"

"No no! Your compulsive outbursts are actually kind of cute."

"Oh they are, are they?"

"Yeah actually and so is-"

"Hey! Hello. Laura Hollis, still at the table. Thanks." I interrupt Lafontaine and Perry's playful moment in hopes for some more information on Carmilla. They both fidget in their seat focusing back on me, faces redder than an apple.

"Sorry." Laf says clearing their throat.

"I wouldn't say I'm the reason for her being active. I mean, I'm not even active myself." I raise my hands in disbelief. "She's been helping me a lot lately getting to know the patients, I don't understand why she's still in he-"

"I'd like you to stay with her-"

"Not that there's nothing wrong with her, patients hide things very well... Wait.. What?" I finally click to Lafontaine's words.

"Exactly as I said Hollis. From now on you won't be assigned to another patient but Carmilla."

"B-But that's not what I'm here fo.. I mean, won't that create an attachment? Shouldn't she be learning to control herself on her own?" My voice was getting higher pitched and my words got faster every time I spoke due to being a bit worried about laf's decision.

Lafontaine places their hand back on their chin and runs their index finger down their jaw line lost in thought.
"Think of it this way, you're the crutch Carmilla needs to get on her feet again."

"The.. Crutch?" I repeat slowly.

"Of course, why didn't I think of this before!" Lafontaine stands and claps their hands together once loudly.
"I mean she's never shown interest in my nurses-"

"Interest? Laf I don't know if-"

"No excuses Hollis. I'm the doctor and those are my orders."
Lafontaine smiles and grabs another grape from Perry before running off.

Perry stands but just misses Laf before they run out.
"If they do that again I swear I'll-"

"You agree with me right? This is a terrible idea." I say interrupting Perry.

"One hundred percent honey." Perry gives me a sad smirk, "But!" She closes the lid to her grapes and stands, "orders are orders. Just, be careful. Karnstein can be a handful once you get to know her.. old scars and all."

I gulp trying to swallow the knot forming in my throat.

"See you later Laura!" Perry says cheerfully before running out, probably to catch Laf.

I sigh before taking a look out the window to see Carmilla now picking at a flower. She gently rubbed the flowers petals against her thumb and index finger. Carmilla didn't pluck them from the flowers stem though, oddly enough. She just seemed to be rubbing the petals between her fingers as if they were a comforting feel for her.

Why did Perry think her a monster when she seemed quite the opposite. I guess I would find out soon enough..

- - - - - -

Walking into the ward the next morning I was greeted by Lafontaine oddly. Perry was off today so I guess I shouldn't be surprised they finally decided to greet someone else for a change.

"Hey Laf can we talk about what you said yester-" before I could finish my sentence Lafontaine hands me a file, the name on top read Carmilla Karnstein.

"I'm not changing my mind Hollis. Gain her trust, make her believe you Want to be her friend, then report back to me with intel." Lafontaine begins walking away.

"But Laf-"

"I'm counting on you Laura." They say without turning to me or stopping, "Remember, you're the crutch!" Lafontaine raises both hands turning into another hallway and disappearing before I could say another word.

Again I sigh before turning to Carmilla's files. I place my thumb and index finger at the corner ready to open it when I remember mine and Carmilla's first conversation.
- - -
"I have to keep some of my secrets, Otherwise I'll lose my air of mystery, won't I? "

"I'll eventually get to see your file."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"Fun? I have to know your file."

"Can't I keep some of my secrets?"

"It's policy."

"Sometimes rules were meant to be broken."
- - - -
Carmilla's wicked smile still playing in my mind from that very conversation.
Biting my bottom lip I slip my fingers inside the file only retrieving her medications before placing the rest of her patient history, with her reason for being here, into my bag.

What am I getting myself into.