Grieving Hearts [Completed]

2- Regret

"I know you are hurting right now and regretting whatever you did to her but sometimes simply regretting is not enough. Though I have always wished for you happiness but if this time you fuck up, if you fail to prove you can be worthy of her, then this is the last chance you get. I will make sure of it." He deadpanned.

Saying that Jacob kept the file that was in his hand on the table and went towards the door but before exiting he added,

"I hope you have some great redeeming qualities Agustin, because if not rest assured you have already lost her for forever."

Damn, if it didn't hurt. I punched my fist on the table as hard as I can to feel the pain, to feel anything other then the ache I am feeling in my heart right now.

I closed my eyes and my memory swifted to one of those many days when I tortured her so bad that she nearly fainted.

I was stunned as I felt wetness trailing down my cheeks, but didn't make any move to wipe it off. My own guilt and self loathing was eating me alive. Clawing at me like a vicious animal.

She is such a pure soul, she deserved to be treated like a princess and what did I do, I fucking treated her like a whore.

I want to hurt myself so bad for causing her so much pain. So, I slammed my fist on the table repeatedly till it started bleeding, yet nothing. Not an ounce of pain, not when all I could think about is her pain.

No matter how much I bleed, the blood is not going to wash away my sin. Nothing can wash it off.

How could I not believe her? Onika. My Onika. So pure. So naïve. How could I turn so blind so as to not see her innocence which was written all over her face, in all her tears. She kept saying that she didn't do anything, that she has been framed in all this. I thought all of it was just an act, her denial would irritated me so much that it just brought the worst out of me.

I made her so fucking afraid of me that she started shivering like a leaf even at the sight of me. I used to deprive her of food for days and days just to make her accept that she did it.

Now I remember how weak and lifeless she used to look. I fucking tortured her for every drop of water.

At last she got so afraid and sick of it that she even stopped saying that she was innocent. Fearing what I might do.

I remember that perticular day when I gave her ultimatum that unless she doesn't accept her sin she is not to get a bite of food or a drop of water and I fucking made her life so miserable that she accepted all the false allegations in the hope that it will calm me down, now that she had finally done what I had ask of her.

But I just got more mad making her sleep on the cold floor handcuffed to the bed,  not even allowing her to use the bathroom without my permission. She laid in her own urine for the whole night.

I slide down on my knees as all the memories started attacking me one after another, stabbing a serrated knife deep in my heart.

I felt suffocated as I recalled her words,

"I wish I could go back in time and revert back the day I met you."

"I never thought that a day will come when I will regret loving you. I thought I could love you endlessly and will never get tired of it."

"And now loving you has become a curse for me. I am ashamed of myself that I loved a monster like you, that I thought you could change, that I thought you are also a human, that you also deserved to be loved , little did I know that this love of mine one day would become the reason for my own destruction."

"Back then I would have given my life for your one smile and now look at the irony of the situation you stole every single of my smiles for the rest of my life..."

If only I knew that loving you will become a cross around my neck......"

I was her every thing, she loved me selflessly and unconditionally, no matter what I did she always had faith in me, always kept saying that I can be a better person and I fucking failed her. Let alone be a person I am even worst than a monster.

I fucking made her pay for her faith, for her unconditional love. How will she forgive me when I can't forgive myself. I know I would never be worthy enough for her. But the selfish part in me still wants one chance and my life clings on that chance.

I can't let her go. I will find her, make it up to her. Make her accept me back. No matter what it takes, because I won't have it any other way.

Just then a disturbing thought occurred to me, what if she has moved on with someone else?

Even the thought of it made me see red.

No. Never. She is still my wife. My legally wedded wife. I will burn the whole world to its last ground. To ashes. I will fucking destroy everything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Throwing daggers at Agustin. Chance, huh?😑😑

Go eat slugs, You have no idea how you are going to burn in hell. All in good time..;)

Oh, I forgot to ask, is their someone reading this book or am I just talking to myself?! (Yeah, that's my way of asking for votes and comments *shrugs*)

Lots of love!
Ricky.❤❤