Susceptible

Chapter eleven

"See! You're mean, you give me mean looks. You yell, you have this annoying habit of asking too many questions, and I've heard you, sometimes your vocabulary is one to rival a sailors when you think no one is listening. So by no means do I think you are a angel." He sighed and tension seemed to release from his shoulders, his demeanor softened.

"But yet you went to my mom's birthday, and were the sweetest person in the world to her when I know her talking must have bored you to death. You worried about me when I didn't come home at normal time even after all I've put you through. And you give up your time and relationship for the sake of others safety. You're human. Not a super human like me or Sam, but a normal plain human with the biggest heart. That's super human on its own I admit in a way niether of us could touch. And as a human with a heart you have feelings and needs that are not being met. So I don't want you to feel guilty about realizing that you haven't always been treated like you should."

No one had ever talked about me like that before. My heart was roaring but I couldn't tell if it was from anger or something else now.

"You're amazing Adriana. For the last time I'm telling you that you can't be treated like you're anything less. You're not a second priority. You're a first. God, what I would give for you to let me make you become my first priority." His voice softened even more trailing off.

I didn't think twice. I grabbed him by the front of his shirt pulling him down to my height as I smashed my lips on his. I didn't give him a chance to react as I held them there for a mere second, and just like last time I started to run away.

I didn't make it two steps before Alex had grabbed my wrist preventing me from leaving.

"No you're not gonna just run away again. Not after it you just kissed me." He sounded hurt that I was trying to leave.

"Let's me go Alex." I said softly trying to keep my voice even. My back was facing him as I was turned towards the door, but he was gripping my wrist.

"No, please. Stay and tell me what you are feeling for once."

I slowly turned towards Alex. Shock was evident on his features as he saw the tears rolling down my face.

"You want to know what I'm feeling? Well here it is. It's messy and confusing, and I don't even know what to call it." I sniffled. "Life, emotions, love, it's not clear cut. There's no guarantees, no map that shows what my choices will lead to. So I don't know. I don't know what to do, what to feel. I wish I could just stop feeling for once."

The tears started to come harder down my face, and I could feel myself about to melt down. Alex quickly pulled me into his chest as I let out my cries into his shoulder. His arms were wrapped around me and he rubbed my back as I let all of my pain out soaking his shirt.

When I finally got my tears to stop I took a step back from his embrace. I was still hiccuping from my break down and it had left me exhausted. I couldn't remember if I had ever cried so much before Alex took me.

"I need to be alone." My voice was barely even a whisper, but Alex heard it because as I turned and walked out of the door this time he let me go.

I hadn't made it to my room yet when I heard Alex's phone ring. I paused in the hallway curious to who was calling him. It was answered after two rings and I heard a muffled Hello from Alex. I crept closer down the hallway back towards the office hoping to hear the conversation. I stopped a few feet from the door pressed against the wall, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping. I tried to control my labored breathing from crying.

"No I told you that." I heard Alex say sounding upset. I couldn't hear the other line. There was just some mumbles from Alex in agreement as he mainly listened to whoever was on the other line.

"Okay I understand." He said sounding slightly defeated. "Yes I know there's no need to remind me." There were a few more moments of silence before Alex closed the conversation. "Okay right goodbye."

The call must have ended as it was then silent. I was getting prepared to sneak back to my room when suddenly Alex yelled out. It was an impressive line of profanities and I had never heard him so angry even when he was yelling at me. He must have thrown something against the wall as there were several bangs then the sound of something shattering.

I held my breath shocked at Alex's outburst. I counted to twenty in my head hoping that would make it seem as if I came from my room then walked into the doorway of his office.

I was taken aback at the sight. Alex was in the middle of the floor on his knees bent over so his head was resting on them and his hands were clutching his face. He had apparently shoved everything off his desk and now pens and papers surrounded him on the ground. His chair looked like it had been shoved against the wall because there was a dent on the wall where it now was.

Lastly there was glass scatter across the floor by the far wall and I assumed that had been what I had heard him throw.

"Alex?" I asked carefully walking into the room trying to avoid the stranded objects.

"Alex?" I tried again walking closer to him when I got no reply. I walked right behind him placing my hand on his back and letting it slowly trail down his side as I sat on my knees beside him. I sat there looking at him. I was worried out of my mind, and wondered what on earth the person on the other line said to make him so upset.

Alex didn't move for a while but after a few minutes he slowly looked up removing his face from his hands ontop his knees. He turned to look at me and I gasped.

There was blood across his forehead and covering his eyebrow and eyelids. I grabbed his face in my hands and turned it looking for the cut. He silently lifted his hand, and I was confused for a moment til I saw the gash on it. The blood's source was not from his face but rather his hand.

I let out a sigh relaxing some and I released his face. Alex continued not to speak but looked at me with an expression that held so much as pain and conflict I couldn't hold eye contact. I wasn't sure what to do with a silent Alex.

"C'mon let's get this washed up." I spoke softly and grabbed at his uninjured hand for him to get up. He stood and I continued to hold his hand guiding him to the bathroom. I closed the lid to the toilet.

"Sit." I said motioning towards it and Alex obligied. I opened the cupboard under the sink and pulled out a fresh washcloth running it under the faucet. I squatted down beside him taking his injured hand in mine slowly rubbing the washcloth over it to clean it. The cut did not look to deep and I was sure with the super blood running in his veins it would heal a good bit faster than normal.

I softly laughed when I realized I had nothing to bandage it with and Alex shot me a confused look.

"It's just.." I said explaining my laughter to him, "I was thinking about how I wanted to run to CVS.. you know to get a proper bandage for your hand... and well the last time I did that..." I trailed off shaking my head. I moistened the washcloth again and Alex stood up.

"Wait let me get your head." I said and Alex paused still standing. I reached for his forehead pushing his hair back and he closed his eyes as I ran the washcloth over his face scrubbing off the blood. I tried to be gentle over his eye and then when I was finishing off cleaning his cheeks his eyes opened again.

I was captured by them. My hand paused by his face as his eyes stared me down. They were so bright and clear, the gateway to his emotions which were now directed towards me. My breath hitched as he continued to look at me with a gentle expression. Then he softly closed his eyes and slowly brought his head down resting his forehead against mine. My eyes fluttered closed but his lips did not meet mine.

Instead we stayed in that position resting against each other nose to nose eyes closed and foreheads touching. We breathed together as one inhaling and exhaling, and somehow it was far more intimate than any other touch.