(sequel) FANCIFUL FEAR -prinxiety-

6. 'All that I have done'

I am so bad at updating- so, so bad at this. Shite.

Anyway.

I feel like I'm on death row. Like I'm just waiting to be killed, for my life to be over, even though I don't think that it will happen. What do I know, though? 

If my anxiety continues like this I'm not sure that I can take it; thankfully my state of being doesn't affect Thomas in this coma dream of his, so Prince can't really tell what's going on with me during his conversation with our host at lunch. 

I woke up pressed to another man's chest this morning, which is... Not something that has happened before. Not that it was made a big deal of, Prince simply leaned over me to turn the alarm off and then went on to get ready. I guess he wouldn't care, because I don't matter to him.

Not in that way.

Walking up to this school (I'm not even going to reveal its name, but Thomas's imagination chose something starting with H that is much more magical than this hell) felt like another step towards the injection room. 

I'm not sure what it is that I did wrong; maybe it's my general effect on Thomas, my resurrecting Debby, or maybe it's just me being the catalyst of every bad thing that lead up to this happening- maybe all of it is on me.

Sure as hell feels that way.

Sometimes you just have to pretend to be okay, though. To not take attention from anything else, like Prince's talking to Thomas and trying to figure this situation out. Sometimes you just have to make yourself background noise, a matter of no concern.

I believe that Thomas got his good acting skills from me, or vice versa. Maybe I warranted Thomas to get good acting skills, to cover up the way that I was hurting him... 

These are my sins, and I'm ready to confess. 

If Thomas is out of reach from me in this dream, I'm not sure I can bear to wake him up again. 

-

There should be a new chapter up tomorrow, this is more of a filler because I'm feeling angsty today (hence the depressing vibe) and writing isn't coming easily. Sorry.