The shade of werewolf

42

I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling thinking. The only sound in the room is Calvin's slow breaths. His head rests on my chest, locking me in and keeping me from getting up and moving anywhere.

Calvin had openly admitted that he was the cause of his mother'a death. I do not blame him- nor will I ever even say that he killed her. He wanted to have his mom forever, but what he tried to do that worked for him didn't work for her.

The only thing that has ran through my mind since he had told me is- I'm such a shitty person. I pressured Calvin more than enough about changing me. He had every reason not to, because he was afraid. He has lived a life filled with only pain and regret. No long term friendships, nothing. Cal deserves to be happy, and I want to be able to make him happy. I want him to look forward to years that will come, and waking up tomorrow morning and smiling.

My fingers run through his thick hair, tingling as they do so. Slowly, I trace my finger over his jaw, down his neck, and over the muscles of his shoulder. He stirs in his sleep, and pulls me closer to him.

Every second I spend with Calvin, I fall even harder for him. Every damn second I think about it, it makes me want to get sick because he deserves so much better than me. I mean, he's so strong, and I'm...not. I didn't know what I was getting into when I met Cal, and I still don't- but I do know that what ever this is- I don't want it with anyone else.

Calvin stirs in his sleep and inhales deeply. As strong as he puts himself off to be, he does have his weak points. He had shared one with me- and that has brought me that much closer to Calvin.

"Please don't stop." Cal's voice brings me out of my trance when my fingers stop running over his skin. I continue to stare at the ceiling as I listen to the quietness of the room start again.

"I thought you were asleep." I say softly, running my nails over his shoulders. He nuzzles his head into my chest and hugs his arms around my abdomen.

"I was." He admits. Slowly, he lifts his head and holds himself up with his hand. "Why are you awake, love?" He knots his eyebrows, focusing all his attention onto me.

I drink in the way he looks at me, like I'm the only thing in the world. His hair is a mess on top of his head. His lips are swollen and his cheek is red from the way he had been sleeping.

I take my time looking at him. His chest rises and falls like an animal that has been chasing its prey. Inwardly, I want to be his prey and have him take me, but I also want him to get some rest because he needs it.

We've been together a few times, but every time something seems to get in the way of that. I ache to feel him. Every single ounce of him, within me. I want his heavy frame to crush me, and hold me down as he has his way with me.

I open my mouth to give him an explanation, but his nostrils flare when he picks up on the smell that has come from my thoughts. I exhale slowly and look up at Calvin, afraid to say or do anything that might set him off.

"I'd like that, too." He says softly with a mischievous smile dancing on his lips. I look up at him and knot my eyebrows. What is he talking about?

"Huh?" I ask, mindlessly letting my hand run over the nape of his neck. Calvin dips his head down and presses a kiss on my cheek.

"Your mind is an open book, Gray. I know what you're thinking, but you'll have to tell me what you want." He murmurs gently. I let out a sigh as his kisses trail down my neck.