hold my hand | soobin

09 | goodbye, coco

Dana

"Hey Dana! It's past nine o'clock and you haven't eat anything since last night! Open the f*cking door!" For the nth time, I ignored Soobin's annoying loud voice.

Since I learned about the photo being real and not edited, I felt dead. I had lost my appetite and I just don't want to do anything but lay on my bed and sob. I've been texting Cole ever since but he made no reply. I sigh before taking my phone to see if he had seen my messages or not.

I was dumbfounded when I saw he hadn't even read it. I started typing on my phone. This will be my last message out of the hundreds I've sent to him. I don't know how to feel. I'm sad, angry and hurt. How can he sleep at night knowing that there's someone crying over him?

"hey babe :) are you doing good? i wonder what you're doing today, did you eat breakfast? you know, i miss you a lot. but i don't know if you miss me too. kinda sad, right? but it's okay :) no tbh, it's really not. i'm not mad at you or anything, i'm mad because even though it hurts, i still fucking love you haha :(

you know i forgive you, right? i'm sure you didn't mean to do it. maybe.. maybe i wasn't enough. maybe it's my fault why you choose to do that but nah i honestly don't blame anyone at all. but yeah, maybe this will be my very last message. idk if we're over or what but i'm going to end this. let's break up :) you wouldn't cheat if you love me.

maybe God has better plans for the both of us. I just hope you'll be happy. just.. fix the mess you made. i wish you and your new girl a happy life. thank you for being the best boyfriend i ever had. i love you still, but i have to move forward and forget everything. let's be strangers again, strangers with memories. goodbye, my coco :)"

I send the message and deleted every picture of us in our gallery. This hurts so bad and it'll probably take me a while to move on . . . I don't even know if I'd be able to move on. I sigh what have you done Cole? Why did you have to hurt me so much?

I started to cry, hugging the pillow close to me. I used to call him juggernaut every time. I remember the first time I called him that, he laughed at me. Ugh here I am again, reminiscing things. I should stop b—

"Dana! The hell I've been calling you for God knows how long. Get those flat ass off the bed now!" My thoughts were cut off by Soobin's loud voice followed by a hard knock on my door.

What's his problem now? He sounded pissed off.

"What?" I ask, literally trying to stop myself from laughing because he seriously looked like a mad bull with his flared nostrils.

"It's almost 10 and you haven't ate anything since! What, do you want to die?" He asked, sarcastically.

I gave him a bored look. "Yeah, how'd you know?" I replied making him more annoyed than ever. He let out a deep breath before glaring at me.

"Oh yeah? Then die," He replied before slamming the door in front of my face.

B*tch what the f*ck? I rolled my eyes before slumping to the bed. He should be thankful that I'm not in the mood to argue with him. Ugh he'll be really begging for help if I punch that face of his.

I closed my eyes, there it is again, the pain I'm feeling since that girl Layla whoever she is sent me the picture on instagram. I know he cheated but why do I still love him? Why do I still think that he still loves me too even though it's clear that he doesn't anymore.