The Bad Boy's App

New Guy

There's one thing in this world that I enjoy and that's walking around the school while no one else is there except for me and my phone that is always equipped with headphones. It makes the mystery stains on the wall more enjoyable, the weird puddles that you know would get you sick more beautiful and the day bearable. Especially since Thorin was home bound and took an early vacation.

It was the last day of school until Christmas vacation. The halls were bright because of the snow outside was blasting its white hue into the windows. They were also empty from everyone being in class, except for me. I had decided to skip the class that Thorin and I shared, it was becoming too hard to look at the seat that his butt once filled. The stares that he would bring along with him were no longer able to fill my heart with the warmth of anxiety.

Just kidding, I just decided to skip because I hated everyone in that class and found them to be annoying. My confidence was still boosted through the roof because of Tj who did indeed kept messaging me until later into the night when he probably fell asleep and I couldn't stop giggling like an idiot. It was nice to know for sure that someone liked something of yours and doesn't seem wishy-washy.

I hadn't panicked all day and I felt like my shell was starting to break a little bit. A hammer was taken to it and slowly, this blob is starting to come out for the world to see. Slowly, but it's coming out.

Okay, I know it's bad that my confidence is a little higher just because some guy with abs said that he liked what he saw (he even said that in one of the messages that I ignored). But like Beyonce, I was really feelin' myself.

The feeling was about to diminished. My music was not playing, but my earbuds were in. I had a bad habit of doing that. It was mostly because I was a nosey bitch who wanted to know what was going on but didn't want anyone else to know that I knew what was happening. But a bunch boys, a big group of boys were walking down the hallway. I wanted to actually put some music on at that point but my arms froze and felt like cement had taken over my blood.

Shout out to my legs who kept on walking, though.

I braced myself, trying to become some type of rock person so whatever things they would say about me would just come at me and fall to the floor and try not to stick to me. Though it never works and if anything is said to me then the only thing that would fall to the floor would be my tears. It was ridiculous but then again, so was my whole life.

I kept moving as they kept moving. My shoulders bent forward as I tried to squeeze by the massive clot of guys. The ones I was near did the same out of kindness and the willing to not knock me over. A breath was held in, pressing on the inner walls of my lungs. My ears were filled with the sound of their chatter. What felt like an hour was actually no more than thirty seconds of walking past them and the best part of it? They didn't say a single word about me.

I was truly invisible.

That or they did see me, which there was no way they couldn't but didn't say a word about me. Maybe, just maybe, some people aren't assholes. Besides the kid that pushed me down. He was an asshole and kind of a bitch, but besides him, some people were okay.

It just had to take a long walk by myself and a bunch of boys who didn't even really noticed that I was there to realize that, A: not everyone is really paying attention to me and B: it was fucking amazing. It felt like some invisible person decided to lift some of the weight that good ole anxiety was suddenly lifted. I was once again invisible and no one was paying attention to me.