brooklyn nine nine quotes (slow updates)

S1E10 'Thanksgiving'

Amy invites the whole precinct over for Thanksgiving dinner at her apartment, but her plans go awry when Jake leaves with the Captain to catch a suspect.

Amy: Rosa is even wearing her formal leather jacket.

Rosa: It's the one without any blood on it.

Amy: Hitchcock, why do you have your shirt off?

Hitchcock: Can't spill food on your shirt if you're not wearing one.

Captain Holt: Can I help you, Santiago?

Amy: Oh, captain. I didn't expect to see you there.

Captain Holt: In my office?

Gina: Wait, are you only hosting dinner because you want to suck up to Holt? Not cool. This was supposed to be abut friendship.

Amy: You said the only reason you were coming was to see whether my apartment was the reason I'm single or it was my personality, like you suspected.

Gina: Yeah, but that was before I knew I could get up on this high horse.

Jake: Hey there, criminal. It's me, Johnny Law.

Jake: I am thankful that Thanksgiving only comes once a year. People stuff themselves. And then at midnight, they run to appliance stores and trample each other to death. It's a garbage holiday. (Sobs) I'm sorry, I just get emotional when I talk about how bogus Thanksgiving is.