Beautiful When You Don't Try (Camren)

Chapter 21

"Hi. Thank you for meeting me."

"Of course. I'm actually glad when you called and suggested this. Things seem to be a little complicated. Sinu said she believed you would be torn in your decision. That you might feel your loyalty to Camila was more important than meeting Michelle."

Lauren took in a deep breath as they both sat down on opposite sides of the table. "They are two things that can't really be compared. They're both very important. But...what all did she tell you about my loyalty to Camila?"

Ariana dropped her brow and her eyes shifted in thought. "She didn't really. Just that you two had met up in New York recently and that you were down here for Thanksgiving. I thought it was a little odd seeing as you two were definitely not close friends in high school."

Lauren nodded slowly as she debated where to move the conversation to next. "Things changed and now Camila means a great deal to me. She is actually my biggest concern with meeting Michelle."

"Because of me?" It was more of a statement than a question, but Lauren nodded. "I knew this was going to be uncomfortably for her. I knew that the first time I called Sinu, but I needed someone to talk to, someone who understood. You know? I thought with her being in New York, she would never know and I wouldn't end up hurting her any more than I already had."

"Why did you hurt her?" Lauren cut her off, looking into the woman's chocolate brown eyes. "I understand what she had said about you feeling like you missed out on part of her life that you could never get back. I've missed out on time with Michelle. I missed her first word, her first step, her first day of school, her first everything. I know that if we meet, I'm not going to instantly become a mother figure to her or particularly close to her, I gave that right up. But Camila tried to hand it back to you. She just wanted you to be there, to talk to, to know."

"I know, but looking at her all grown up just made me realize what I had lost even more."

"So what?"

Ariana's eyes widened slightly with the unexpected aggravation in Lauren's voice and she nervously tucked her hair behind her ears, searching for her words to continue. Lauren beat her to it.

"What about her? You wanted to be her mom so why weren't you? Why didn't you pull yourself out of your own pain to see hers? I use to think that you and I had something in common, an understanding of what it was like to give up a child, but I was wrong. I gave up Michelle for her sake. You abandoned Camila for yours. All you had to do was talk to her for thirty minutes in a phone conversation and she would have been happy. She would still be happy with just that. That's the thing about Camila, it doesn't matter how much or for how long you have hurt her, she'll always give you a second chance."

Lauren was begging the woman to take the hint. It was the only way to get both things that she wanted, but she also knew it was going to take more time then what she had remaining in Miami.

"I want to meet Michelle. But I'm honestly not sure if I am ready to yet. I'm not wanting to walk into her life and then right back out if something happens and I have to honor my loyalty to Camila. I want to make it right. So, I would like to think about it and give you a call before we head back to New York. I hope that if it doesn't work out for us to meet up this weekend, that maybe we could schedule it for another time. I would really, really love to meet her."

Ariana nodded, lost in thought. This meeting obviously didn't go as she was excepting. "We can do that. I haven't mentioned that you were in town to her or anything like that. I...I was actually planning on taking Michelle up to New York to go see a show or something. You know, a weekend get away. Maybe we could work something out then. That way she could see you in action, the famous photographer."