Maybe It Wasn't An Accident

Recover, Okay?

Since then, I've really had a point where I felt okay.

I've been a little uneasy recently, but I don't want you to feel bad or have pity on me. I'll surely get over it and move on. But the update on the last situation is that I'm taking small steps to a mental recovery and making a safe place out of my head.

I'm basically taking everything in around me and storing it in my head. I'm planning to stay in my head for a while- despite having a mess up there. 

Imagine this: A rather medium sized room with pale yellow walls and around two bookcases filled with books no one even reads because they're scared of commitment to a book because they'll get made fun of them; so they're basically shame books. Now there's a door in the middle of the bookcases, but it's always locked or there's no doorknob. There's a sign on the door and it says, "Look around, the key is under your nose." It's been there a while, but I always tear it down because procrastination has been a bigger part of me. Every time I go back into the room, the same sign is on the door.

Now, there are no paintings or posters- but a small window barely letting light in. There's a sofa and a carpet that collects all the words I say while in the room. After having a conversation with myself, I see all the words I've said lying on the floor. The noise in the room is only by me knocking chairs over accidentally, or screaming at the top of my lungs because no one can hear it if it's in my conscience. 

Overall it's a comfortable place to be in; I absolutely love this little room.

Okay, side-stepping from the depressing. I was hoping this book wouldn't be so upsetting and depressing- just a funny outlook on my life.

Unfortunately, nothing funny has happened to me recently so I can't grant that wish. (sorry!)

But here are a few songs I recommend you guys to listen to! I was scrolling through Spotify and wondered 'hey what if I recommended this?' and yeah.

So first, is Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You by Arctic Monkeys. It's a catchy song, and I've had it on reply for about an hour. It reminds me of a very platonic relationship, and the 90's.

Next is, Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko. It's an inspiring song about equality and how it should be normal by now. It gives off really good vibes and describes a bad relationship rescued by a girl on girl relationship- ending up in happiness.

Another one is, A Little Death by The Neighbourhood. It's catchy and a very sensual song about a active relationship and longing. If you pay attention to the lyrics, you can imagine a very aesthetic short film forming.

Next, If by House Of Heroes. Josh Dun used to be in this band, and it's a very catchy song. It was somewhat 2010 emo vibes? 

Continuing, we have Mistakes Like This by Prelow. It's catchy. It was in my head for a while. Somewhat explicit lyrics, but some lyrics like, 'I'm not confused, It's just you're making me think' really make the song memorable.

Lastly, Casual Affair by Panic! At The Disco. It's great! It got stuck in my head for a few days, and I cried while I played in my literature class. High notes, and fun solar system vibes (Sorry I keep saying 'vibes').

Okay.