The Rebel in Us |Completed|

Chapter Two

Song to the side

Lorde-Bravado 

I'm faking glory

Lick my lips toss my hair

And send a smile over

And the stories brand new

But I can take it from here

I'll find my own bravado

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     Chapter Two

| Winnie |

          There are few words that I can use to describe the feeling I get when watching my mother sleep. If that's at all what she's doing? The many mornings after her party nights are what annoyed, and freaked me out the most. The deep sinking hole in the middle of my chest full of unknowing mystery, worry and anticipation would be best to describe that feeling. Why would that bother me? Well, because it was like driving across the country in a car whose gas gauge didn't work. Jumping out of an airplane and while falling through the sky, you still slightly wonder if that parachute will in fact open. The point is; you just never know.

            If I'm being honest, that feeling most days scared the shit out of me. I mean, here I was standing in the doorway of my mother's bedroom watching her sleep. However, I wasn't watching her in some loving and admiring kind of way. No. I was watching to make sure she was still breathing, still alive. Yeah. Sometimes people will talk about the unknown as a reference to outer space, or in some kind of horror movie. For me, the unknown was interesting and scary because it involved my mother.

            My mother and the chance that this might be the day where she drank too much and never woke up again. The unknown scared the shit out of me and it was another reason why I hated her unhealthy habits.

            I wouldn't say I hate my mom, I mean she's my mom. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her, but I hated the choices she made with her life. The burden she laid upon me, and the abandonment she constantly puts Lillian through, among other things.

            "Winnie?" I finally snapped out of my gaze, and turned around closing the door and facing Lillian. "Yeah?"

            She looked down at her pink colored shoes sadly, as I take a few small steps to kneel in front of her. "You think mommy will be home when we get back from school?" After a small sigh, I shrugged I really didn't know and fixed some of the frizzy red hair on her head. We left it at that.

~❈❈❈~

            "So let me get this straight; he told you no and so now you have tutoring after school instead of practice?"

            I nodded a disappointing yes to Kristin as her face contorts in disbelief. "I don't understand... That was a pretty sweet deal, I mean, who turns down free money?"

            I shrugged at her question before speaking. "Oh you know, people with morals and responsibility, and all that other boring stuff." She sighed at my words as we continued walking through the empty halls of the school.

            We were supposed to be in third period like everyone else, but that usually meant a snooze fest in Mr. Tanner's class for me, and an awkward random mumbling from Kristin's lab partner in chemistry. So the usual 'I'm bored' text in class turned into 'let's say we need to use the restroom' so we could meet up and hang out until the bell rings. And so here we are. "You know you shouldn't be cutting class, especially with Ms. Fern on your ass."