Dark Paradise (Camren)

Dinner (42)

I finally blinked, wiping away the sea of tears that obstructed my vision, and a few of them fell silently down my face. Taylor was looking at me so intensely, her face was already red due to the tears, she didn't say anything, just stared at me. I didn't know if that had hurt her, but I had to let out what I thought, I had to take over my role of big sister. Suddenly, she released my hand, and hugged me so tightly that my eyes closed, enjoying every second of that hug.

"Lauren..." Taylor whispered, breaking the silence and our hug. "I'm sorry for soaking your clothes." She said laughing, wiping away her tears. I laughed too at the sight of our clothes' deplorable state.

"It's okay... Taylor, I'll always be by your side."

Taylor smiled as she ran her hand through her hair. "I know, and you can relax." The girl got up. "That was the first and last time I used drugs. And about Rob... I don't think we're together anymore." Taylor turned around and disappeared up the stairs. I thought about going after her, but she needed space, and now she knew she could count on me.

-----

After my relaxing bath, I put a pepperoni pizza in the oven, I was starving, and then I lay down on the couch. My mother's journal was in my hand, and I read every word attentively, enjoying every moment she spent beside my father.

"Reading mom's journal, Lauren?" Taylor asked, sitting down next to me. I closed the journal and looked at her, accommodating myself better on the couch.

"Yes..." I answered, taking a deep breath.

"Could you read to me?" She asked, and I just nodded.

Dear journal, my angel Taylor took her first step, I thought Lauren would get jealous over the excessive attention I gave the little girl, but no, she stood by our side smiling, happy for her sister's achievement. With every passing day, I see how much Lauren looks like Ronald. Speaking of him, we keep seeing each other, I feel bad for all I feel for him, I thought it had disappeared, but it's all blooming again. And you must be wondering why I feel so bad? Because of Michael, because even though he's more and more absent from my life and my daughters' lives with every passing day, I still love him, and he's still my husband.

"Do you think mom cheated on my dad?" Taylor asked me seriously.

I shook my head, but maybe she should've had cheated on him, dumped his sorry ass, and maybe she'd still be alive, here with us.

"Well, then proceed, Laur." Taylor asked smiling.

I continued the reading, which started to become more and more intense, sometimes I had to read quickly and silently to then only repeat out loud some parts, cutting others. With every word of my mother, it was like I felt how sick she was getting due to Michael's attitudes. I had to stop my reading, there were many things there that not even I knew, and I didn't know if I'd have the courage to know... Mom was getting more and more mentally ill with every passing day, and all because of that monster.

I closed the journal, leaving it on my lap. My eyes were fixed on the golden letters that formed my mother's name.

"Why did you stop, Laur?" Taylor asked.

I looked at the girl, she was looking at me with a rebuke-like look. I shook my head, running my hand through my hair, removing the strands of hair that insisted on obstructing my vision.

"I'm tired of reading, and I'm hungry." I made a quick excuse.

"Great, why don't you go see if the pizza is ready while I continue reading?" Taylor asked, getting up. The girl approached me and tried to pick up the journal from my lap, but I grabbed it first.